Customer Service – Catering to Stupid People

We all know that stupid people exist everywhere.  Unfortunately, when God created humanity, he had a sense of humor, and created stupid people.  The definition in the dictionary is as follows: the quality or state of being stupid.  Last week at the restaurant, I was (once again) able to see how stupid and quite frankly, arrogant people are.

I worked at the dentist office from 8:30-5, so it was already a long day.  From there, I spruced up a little and went to the restaurant.  When I arrived, it was surprisingly busy.  In the summer, our evenings are always hit or miss.  I clocked in and began to check on everyone to make sure they were alright.  That was when I found out that a woman at one of the tables had been making a fuss because of how her burger was made.  One of our burgers comes with the person’s choice of Canadian or regular bacon.  The lady told the server ‘no Canadian bacon’.  De facto, it was now regular bacon.  She needed to specify no bacon period, but she did not.  Hence, it came out of the kitchen with regular bacon and she threw a fit.  The waitress offered to have it sent back and remade several times, but she always refused.  Finally, she was leaving with her party and she asked me if there was a place she could place a survey of her experience that evening.  I told her that there was a little survey on the receipt.  She said she filled it out and wondered if there was another place she could post a review.  I said that there might be something on the website.

She then turned around and said that she and her husband were regulars there and the server was usually only okay, but tonight, she was bad.  She also said she was even more upset because I didn’t apologize for what happened before I even arrived on the scene.  I just bobbled my head and gave her a half smile, not even bothering to grace her with an answer.  After she finally left, I went to clear the table and the server asked me what she had been talking about.  I told her everything, including the part where she wanted me to apologize and I didn’t.  Everyone else found out in no time and they asked me what I had to apologize for.  “Not a damn thing,” I said.

Listen, I’ve been a customer to and I know I will keep being a customer long after I’m done working in the restaurant business.  But even then, I know I’m not going to get in somebody’s face and make their life difficult simply because I’m the customer.  That’s not how the world works.  Look at it this way: the server has the power to help make your experience great, or to f*ck it to kingdom come.  Don’t piss off the person or people responsible for that.  Because you just might avoid something nasty in your dinner.

And on that note, it’s been real!

 

Disorder in the House!

This past weekend, I legitimately and truly and really wanted to kill somebody.  Not my coworkers, but the customers (as per usual).  Friday night, I arrived at 5:00 for my shift and we were already pretty busy.  I got situated and then I had Granny and Paps come up and say they had eight people.  All my big tables were already taken, so they asked me to push two tables (in two different sections) together to seat them.  Now, if you work in a restaurant, joining two tables belonging to two separate servers for one party is a b*tch.  Why?  Who the f*ck is going to get it?!  So, I got my manager’s permission and pushed them together.  They brought in five noisy children, and one of the tables near them, moved to a different one.  This irritated me and threw the server off.  From there, everyone kept coming in and nobody was leaving.

I soon found myself on a wait and people couldn’t grasp that it was almost forty minutes.  Then, I got the Incredible Bulk dragging himself through the door.  I told him the wait time and he really gave me a hard time.  He wanted to go at the end of a long table, which was occupied at the other end.  I told him we could not do that and that I had a reservation going there.  “But I’ll be gone in twenty minutes.”  I just gave him a look and told him I couldn’t do that.  “Well, I want to speak to a manager because I don’t understand why.”

“Yeah, because you’ve got blubber for a brain,” I muttered to myself as I walked behind the bar to grab the floor manager.  I grabbed him and explained the situation to him.  He raised his eyebrow and affirmed what I already knew.  “Well, can you tell him that?  Because he doesn’t seem to want to take no from me.”

“Alright.  Where is he?” my manager asked.

“Turn around.  You can’t miss him,” I sarcastically responded as I started to walk away.  He looked, caught sight of him, faced me and mouthed, ‘what the f*ck?!’  I just nodded and went back to my post.  The rest of the night, people kept saying they didn’t see the sign in the atrium, so they sat themselves at dirty tables, and I didn’t bother with them.  I got angrier as the night went on and people kept being idiots.

My coworkers all said, “Wow!  You’re really pissed off.  I’ve never seen you this pissed off.”  I was.  It hadn’t even really cleared out that much when I was let go at a quarter to ten.

Saturday night, I was semi-hopeful, but definitely not optimistic.  Not long after arriving, I got a walk in eleven top and a seven top.  I guess calling to check if we even have room is out of the question.  Then, one of the servers was late, so I had to divide her section between the other (already busy) three.  Needless to say, I was not interested in taking shit from people after Friday night.  Thankfully, Saturday night was not as bad as Friday night.  My coworkers commented on that, and how I didn’t look like I wanted to decapitate somebody.  That was good.  We’ll see how this weekend goes.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Costumed Craziness

This past weekend was a like a masque affair at my restaurant.  We had all the staff dress up on Friday night, which was fun.  I dresses up as Worick Archangelo from the anime, Gangsta.  A few people thought I was Uma Thurman’s character from Kill Bill, but I had to correct them.  We had one of the waitresses, who is very good at makeup, did her face like a clown from American Horror Story.  She also did our manager’s face and made him look like a voodoo skeleton man.  We had a mermaid sort of server, a kitty cat (she was a little lazy), and a 50’s greaser girl.  One of the bartenders was Goose from Top Gun, and the second one was a rebel pilot from Star Wars.  In a sense… he was basically wearing a pajama onesie that looked like a rebel pilot on the front, but made him look like a Telly Tubby from the back.  We were all dressed up on Friday and we had fun.  Except for my lack of depth perception.  My character has an eyepatch, and I was doing my best not to bump into everybody.

On Saturday, we had several large parties make reservations, and one of them was an eighteen top costume party.  They kept standing up instead of sitting down at the tables we assigned them.  The servers couldn’t wait on them until they sat down, so that the two servers could know who they had.  My manager had to go over and tell them that they had to sit down in their seats to be served.  They sat down, but decided to occupy two extra tables as well as the larger two we had given them.

That was the first annoying aspect of it.  The second was an obnoxiously loud six top that was right next to me.  One of the women was obviously under the influence, and kept talking about certain, slightly off-color topics in a loud voice.  She mentioned the ‘LGBTQIA’ repeatedly and so loudly that I thought she really did want the whole restaurant to hear her.  They were there from almost the start of my shift to the very end of my shift.  They were there for literally four hours.  Anyway…

The costumes this weekend were pretty interesting and I could tell who put time/money into their costumes, and which ones had not.  Being a costume connoisseur, it was easy.  Halloween didn’t used to be a big holiday for me.  As I get older and older, it has changed along with me.

And on that note, it’s been real!

I’m Not a Loner; I’m Just Allergic to Stupidity

Most people saw me sitting by myself when I went to my vo-tech in high school.  I was home schooled during the morning, then went to my tech school in the early afternoon.  Of course, I was the only home schooled girl in my class, and all the public school girls brought their drama.  They talked about things that were too much to say in such company.  Needless to say, I was not interested in listening to their unsavory discussions, so I asked my teacher if I could sit off on my own and listen to music on my phone.  I didn’t make a lot of friends with girls in my class.  I was actually friendly with several kids who weren’t in my class, but were in my Skills USA group.  They talked about similar topics with me, and were smarter than my fellow classmates and more polite.

I’ve never been patient with stupid/uncultured people.  My father’s tendencies (which he passed onto me) do not allow for that.  With a few exceptions, I don’t really work with stupid people.  All my siblings are like me; some to lesser extents, but they still have it.  We practice on each other to sharpen our repartee and our sardonic wit.  At my restaurant, I have to deal with stupid customers, not stupid coworkers.  However, when I go to the dentist, I pray that the front desk won’t f*ck up my doctor’s schedule.  If they do, that’s when I pray to God to give me the strength not to kill them, and to protect my IQ level.

The meme that’s above?  I found it while just looking for funny quotes to make me laugh.  I showed it to my younger sister, who is just as ruthless as I am, and she burst out cackling.  Sometimes that’s all it takes to lift my spirit if I’m feeling down.  Laughter is a medicine in and of itself.  Sarcasm is just a specific type of antibiotic for life.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Life & Lemons

Everyone has heard the saying, “When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.”  A lot of people live by that philosophy.  I’m not one of them.  Life has given me some lemons over the years, and actually, quite a few this year alone.  But, I tend to go with the philosophy of Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes.  His saying is as follows, “If life gives you lemons, you sling ’em back and add a few of your own.”

Even though I know when the New Year comes around, I’ll be thinking about all the bad stuff that happened all through out the year over again, I’m thinking about it right now.  Personal issues between my sister and father, and him trying to get us to ostracize her; getting screwed on my vacation/other appointments because of a twit; the IRS scam call that scared me to death; drama at the office and etc. etc.

But, I guess I also have to focus on the good things.  Spending a few days with my older sister and being free; going to Cedar Point with my sibs and friends; my anime conventions; my mentor at the dentist, etc. etc.  I guess in a way, I have slung my lemons back at life and told it to go f*ck itself.

And on that note, it’s been real!

The World is F*cked Up

So last week, I mentioned that some things were going on at the office that I work at that was some cause for concern.  As it turns out, I was right.  I went into work on Friday morning, hoping for a normal day.  I assisted my doctor with his first patient basically by myself, because my friend was stuck in traffic.  After that, I heard that the hygienist was having a meeting with one of the doctors, our manager, and another woman (who thinks she’s some big shot, but isn’t).

A little later, I heard that she had been told she probably needed to transfer to another office because she and my doctor’s assistant are going to be getting married next February.  Needless to say, that was a load of crock.  Everyone in the office knew that she and he had been dating, and they had all found out when he had proposed and she accepted.  Now all of a sudden, it was a problem?  It was just convenient for management, that’s what it was.  The hygienist was devastated that after seventeen years of loyal service and bringing in money for this office, she was just going to be written off like that.  And all because some sensitive people don’t know how to handle problems like adults.

I have known this hygienist for three years and she works hard.  Yes, she’s fallen behind sometimes, and it has annoyed me, but we’ve never gotten so angry with each other that we have even really argued about anything.  She is being pushed aside in favor of people who haven’t been there as long as she has, and who don’t work as hard as she does.  It makes me sick how the bureaucracy works.

She called me yesterday to talk and get some advice.  I told her to contact HR, because I know my manager didn’t do that.  If she had, somebody would have reached out to the hygienist by now, but nobody has.  She said she would.  This needs to be given to people outside the office, who are not biased because they know people there.  I hope that it will be handled accordingly, but… I have my doubts.  Very rarely does anything in the real world work in favor for the victim.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Let My Fist Meet Your Face

Alright, so Friday from 8:00-3:00, I was at my dentist office, training and working and getting knowledge.  My doctor came in at 9:00, so I worked sterilization, set up his room, and made sure all the materials were present for a crown prep.  His schedule was full all morning, but he only had one person in the afternoon after our lunch.  Myself and the other assistant were kind of hoping to leave a little early (I did have an errand to run before my second job, and he had to finish packing for moving).  We were in the middle of doing the patient after lunch, when one of the receptionists put a patient’s chart into our bin.  She had added somebody to our schedule.  It was a crown insert, but neither me, or the other assistant knew where the crown was.  He immediately went up from and asked them where it was.  I was just as annoyed as him by it.  Never call a patient, tell them their appliance is in the office, without to checking to see if it’s actually there!  We were getting ready to have them call the patient back and reschedule, when the lab case was finally produced.  I was still very annoyed.

The second blunder was a walk-in that was slapped into the schedule.  Now, I know I’ve said in a previous post that walk-ins are the dumbest people around for not using their phones and making official appointments like normal folks.  This grandma came in and was complaining about a cold sore on her lip, and the receptionist put her in my doctor’s schedule.  I almost had a coronary.  I never allowed walk-ins (with stupid requests) to slide into the schedule.  Why?  Because I wasn’t about the waste the doctor’s time when the person could just go to a pharmacy and get cold sore cream!  My doctor saw her, and she did spend most of the appointment, talking to him about every day sh*t.

Then, the manager grabbed me and the other assistant, saying the front desk was getting a negative aura from us.  Myself and the other assistant were confused.  We asked her to clarify and she said, “They feel like you’re angry at them for doing their jobs.”  No, I’m not mad at them for doing their jobs; I’m mad at them for doing their jobs wrong!

I don’t know which one spoke up about the ‘negative ambiance’, but I intend to find out and set some records straight.  That conversation ticked me off on Friday, and I believe that me and the other assistant got our wrists slapped for no reason.  Take the blame, don’t shift the blame.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Sarcasm: Medicine for Stupid People

Since I became a teenager, and started to mature, my little girl tendencies began to fade into a slightly jaded, sarcastic persona.  The jaded aspect comes from certain events in my childhood and preteen years.  When my family used to go to a Latin mass, my older sister and I were friends with two other sisters from another family.  We had been ‘friends’ for a couple of years, when all of a sudden, both girls started ignoring us.  I later found out it was because our parents and their parents had a disagreement and they told their daughters not to associate with us anymore.  I was only a little girl, and I didn’t understand.  It hurt and made me a little bitter.  I became friends with another girl a few years later and one day, saw my old ‘friend’ trying to cut in on our conversation on the steps of the church after mass on Sunday.  I turned my back and got in between her and my new friend.  Without saying anything, I made my case very clear: she was not welcome.

We’ve gone to the same birthday parties over the years, and her and her younger sister have been invited.  When we play games (and I win), the younger one always challenges my win.  Once when she was really getting on my nerves, I said, “I would say something mean, but I’m afraid I’ll have to explain myself.”  That promptly shut her up and sent her scurrying back to her rat hole.

There was also another family at that church that didn’t like us.  The reason?  My sisters and I are prettier than them.  Not that hard to do when they all look like the Cabbage Patch babies grown up.  Needless to say, being in the same choir with them was an interesting experience.  They ignored us and we ignored them.  Sometimes, the eldest would do something to us, try to order us around.  My older sister kind of let her do it, but I wouldn’t.  Once, when we were at a party to say goodbye to our old choir director, and were heading up some stairs to a open second floor, she poked me between the ribs with her nail.  I stopped and took a step back, placing all my weight on her foot.  I turned and said, “Oh, were you there?  I hadn’t noticed.”  She left me alone after that.  She did something stupid that wouldn’t have gotten her anywhere.  But, I didn’t say she was smart.

Now, as I have said in the past, you play nice with me, I will play nice with you.  If I really like you, I will be your friend.  Cross me, and I will bury you.

And on that note, it’s been real!

 

Happy Place

This past weekend, there must have been an Idiot Special at our restaurant, because a lot of idiots showed up.  I was working overtime to not explode and kill somebody.  First off, somebody came up with the smart idea of placing our sign out in the atrium instead of behind me, where people ‘mysteriously’ manage to miss seeing it every time.  Now out in the atrium, I turn it around so that it says, ‘Please wait to be seated.’  It’s the first thing a person sees when they walk in.  And they still choose to ignore it.

The one question you don’t ask the person who is clearly the hostess is, “Can we just seat ourselves?”

“Oh, sure!  Go ahead!  It’s not like I have a job to do here or anything.”  That’s what I want to say at any rate.  The rate that this question was asked this weekend was phenomenal.  Everyone must have taken their stupid pills!  There were also a lot of large parties this weekend and that of course put us on a wait for tables.  Humans seem to have this nasty habit of challenging me when I tell them that we are on a wait.  “The wait for a table of four is half an hour.”

“Thirty minutes?!”

“Yes, thirty minutes.”

“Are you sure we can’t just squeeze in-?”

“Oh, yes!  I’m sure.”  People do that to me all the time, as if I’ll suddenly change my story.  I’d love to change the octave they’re currently talking at.  With a swift kick between the legs.  Then… there are the five tops.  I just don’t get it.  I can understand it if it’s a family with three kids; that makes sense.  But when it’s five friends out for the night, I’m kind of like, “Who wanted to be the fifth wheel?”  And then they try to finagle a table and add a chair, I’m like, “No.”

“But we can make it work,” they plead.

“And then you’ll complain to the server, and they’ll come up to me, saying you want to switch tables.  Not setting myself up for that, *sshole,” I say under the simple, “I don’t have an extra chair.”  I did actually have people I sat at a table when they were going to be three.  They were right by me at the front and when I came back to my post, the woman leaned over.

“Hey, I have a request,” she said.  I gave her the ‘really?’ look, but she continued, “Can you put us on your wait list for a table of… (has trouble doing basic math)… seven?  We invited some people over.”  Okay, first of all, that should have been the plan at the beginning of the evening, not a spur of the moment thing.  I know, sometimes a friend says they can’t come, then a few hours later, ask if they can come.  But, if you’re going to a restaurant and ask for a table for one number, then suddenly up that number on the hostess and your server, they are going to hate you.  Needless to say, I gave the woman an incredulous look and she just gave me a stupid smile.

“Okay… it’s going to be close to an hour,” I told her.  And I wasn’t just saying that to mess with her.  I was on a half hour wait for parties of four or smaller.  She was slapping me with a party of seven last minute.  But as for the picture overhead, the reason for that was because on that same night, I got a four top while I was in the middle of my long wait.  They wanted a low table for Grandma, and I gave them the wait.  They didn’t believe the wait time, and I had to tell them in a dumbed down version.  Finally, they said they would seat and in our lounge with a low coffee table and booth seats instead of regular chairs.  First, the one man came out and asked us to turn the fireplace on in there.  We still consider it sort-of summer in the restaurant business, and my manager was all against it.  Afterward, I just heard the server complaining about how needy and demanding they were.  When the ladies left, the two men stayed behind and grabbed my manager again.

“I don’t have a problem with you, but…” and everything before ‘but’ is bullsh*t.  My manager took them aside, defended our position and they left in a huff.  They did not acknowledge me when I told them to have a goodnight.

“And don’t let the door hit you in the *ss on the way out,” I mumbled to myself.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Because I Don’t

Remember when I said that I was going to have that talk with that stupid girl who pissed me off when I went into work on Tuesday night?  Well… that talk didn’t happen (yet).  The reason being was by the time I got there, my doctor had started a procedure and I didn’t want to miss anything.  I put my gloves, safety glasses, and mask on, and went right back to his operatory.  She was sitting at her side of the desk when I arrived, but I didn’t have the time to acknowledge her existence.

I came up to the front desk a little later to check to see if the next patient had arrived.  That was when I said hi to my former trainee, but ignored her.  I didn’t really have the time to talk her/was too happy to ruin my evening by talking to her.  After she left, I asked my trainee if she commented on my ignoring her.  She said that the stupid woman had asked if I was mad at her.  Really?  You haven’t been told yet?

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that none of the girls have told her how she screwed up my plans and how pissed I was by that.  I am very surprised the tongues have not been wagging at the lunch table or in the chart room.  I guess everyone figured I wanted to be the one to burst her happy/naive bubble.  I wonder if she’ll try to corner me tonight when I come in?  Possibly.  She’ll ask if there is a problem between us, and I’ll have to explain in simple terms that… yes… there is in fact a problem.  I’ll interrogate her, ask her if anybody did whisper anything while I was gone, and if not, I’ll just shine the lamp in her face and do it myself.  If she gets upset by my honesty, then she can cry me a river and build a bridge over it.  Because the water isn’t under mine yet.

And on that note, it’s been real!