Tag: sarcasm

Single, With Jobs (and Parents)

Unlike some people out in the world, I don’t have a lot of time to waste or potter about.  And everybody thinks I do.  I hate it when I’m sitting at home, and it’s my one day off (Sunday), and I hear my dad say, “M/N isn’t doing anything.  Have her do it.”  Um… no.  Emphatically and really and truly no.  Whenever this happens, my mom will come to get me, but she always gets a slightly sarcastic reply.

She’ll tell me my dad wants me to make a salad, and I’ll say, “Oh?  I guess men are physically incapable of making a salad.”  I don’t mean all men when I say this; just my brothers.  They drink beer, smoke cigars, and talk, but are unable to make a salad.  It’s actually quite funny.

Another funny thing that happened to me, but this was several years ago.  We were (all eight of us) sitting and eating dinner, and my dad leaned in between me and one of elder brothers to reach something.  In order to make room for him, I had to tilt my chair to one side.  My brother just stayed where he was.  As my dad was reaching (more over me than him), he said, “Sorry, [my brother’s name].  I’ll get out your way in a second.”  I just started laughing and everyone looked at me like I was crazy.  I apologized, while laughing maniacally, and I explained after my dad left why I had started laughing.  Both my sisters agreed that it was funny.  Nothing against my brothers (really), but the situation was humorous.

As for the jobs, they’re going pretty good.  I finished my second module at school with good grades and my teacher told me I was doing very well.  As for my unofficial internship at my old office, I know that one of my doctors is kind of in need of an assistant.  I offered and she said she would most certainly keep me in mind.  I like helping her and my regular doctor.  Actually, last week, my mentor stepped out of the room and let me help the dentist on my own.  We did a space maintainer, filling, and extraction on a child (who was so good for us), and a silver and white filling on an adult.  I am glad he did that; for it shows the faith he has in me.  However, Friday, I couldn’t go in because I had conjunctivitis, or in lay man’s terms: pink eye.  Yay!  Took my drops and tried to make myself appear as normal as possible.

Then, at the restaurant, my manager called me over and said, “So, you know you have to dress up next Friday?”  I nodded because it’s the Friday before Halloween.  He immediately added, “You have to be Goku.”  If I didn’t have wonderful self-control (sometimes), I would have lost my sh*t.

“Nope, not doing Goku.”

“Why not?  You’ve got a week.”

“Because I’ve only got a week, and I hate Dragon Ball Z.”  Arrow through his heart, anime style.  I’ll just resurrect an old Tekko costume.  It’s cheaper and I already have it; why not in hell use it?!  Anywhoo, that’s my single life with jobs (and parents).  Oh, Al Bundy!  You’re an inspiration to all of us!

And on that note, it’s been real!

The World is F*cked Up

So last week, I mentioned that some things were going on at the office that I work at that was some cause for concern.  As it turns out, I was right.  I went into work on Friday morning, hoping for a normal day.  I assisted my doctor with his first patient basically by myself, because my friend was stuck in traffic.  After that, I heard that the hygienist was having a meeting with one of the doctors, our manager, and another woman (who thinks she’s some big shot, but isn’t).

A little later, I heard that she had been told she probably needed to transfer to another office because she and my doctor’s assistant are going to be getting married next February.  Needless to say, that was a load of crock.  Everyone in the office knew that she and he had been dating, and they had all found out when he had proposed and she accepted.  Now all of a sudden, it was a problem?  It was just convenient for management, that’s what it was.  The hygienist was devastated that after seventeen years of loyal service and bringing in money for this office, she was just going to be written off like that.  And all because some sensitive people don’t know how to handle problems like adults.

I have known this hygienist for three years and she works hard.  Yes, she’s fallen behind sometimes, and it has annoyed me, but we’ve never gotten so angry with each other that we have even really argued about anything.  She is being pushed aside in favor of people who haven’t been there as long as she has, and who don’t work as hard as she does.  It makes me sick how the bureaucracy works.

She called me yesterday to talk and get some advice.  I told her to contact HR, because I know my manager didn’t do that.  If she had, somebody would have reached out to the hygienist by now, but nobody has.  She said she would.  This needs to be given to people outside the office, who are not biased because they know people there.  I hope that it will be handled accordingly, but… I have my doubts.  Very rarely does anything in the real world work in favor for the victim.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Sarcasm: Medicine for Stupid People

Since I became a teenager, and started to mature, my little girl tendencies began to fade into a slightly jaded, sarcastic persona.  The jaded aspect comes from certain events in my childhood and preteen years.  When my family used to go to a Latin mass, my older sister and I were friends with two other sisters from another family.  We had been ‘friends’ for a couple of years, when all of a sudden, both girls started ignoring us.  I later found out it was because our parents and their parents had a disagreement and they told their daughters not to associate with us anymore.  I was only a little girl, and I didn’t understand.  It hurt and made me a little bitter.  I became friends with another girl a few years later and one day, saw my old ‘friend’ trying to cut in on our conversation on the steps of the church after mass on Sunday.  I turned my back and got in between her and my new friend.  Without saying anything, I made my case very clear: she was not welcome.

We’ve gone to the same birthday parties over the years, and her and her younger sister have been invited.  When we play games (and I win), the younger one always challenges my win.  Once when she was really getting on my nerves, I said, “I would say something mean, but I’m afraid I’ll have to explain myself.”  That promptly shut her up and sent her scurrying back to her rat hole.

There was also another family at that church that didn’t like us.  The reason?  My sisters and I are prettier than them.  Not that hard to do when they all look like the Cabbage Patch babies grown up.  Needless to say, being in the same choir with them was an interesting experience.  They ignored us and we ignored them.  Sometimes, the eldest would do something to us, try to order us around.  My older sister kind of let her do it, but I wouldn’t.  Once, when we were at a party to say goodbye to our old choir director, and were heading up some stairs to a open second floor, she poked me between the ribs with her nail.  I stopped and took a step back, placing all my weight on her foot.  I turned and said, “Oh, were you there?  I hadn’t noticed.”  She left me alone after that.  She did something stupid that wouldn’t have gotten her anywhere.  But, I didn’t say she was smart.

Now, as I have said in the past, you play nice with me, I will play nice with you.  If I really like you, I will be your friend.  Cross me, and I will bury you.

And on that note, it’s been real!