I’m Not a Loner; I’m Just Allergic to Stupidity

Most people saw me sitting by myself when I went to my vo-tech in high school.  I was home schooled during the morning, then went to my tech school in the early afternoon.  Of course, I was the only home schooled girl in my class, and all the public school girls brought their drama.  They talked about things that were too much to say in such company.  Needless to say, I was not interested in listening to their unsavory discussions, so I asked my teacher if I could sit off on my own and listen to music on my phone.  I didn’t make a lot of friends with girls in my class.  I was actually friendly with several kids who weren’t in my class, but were in my Skills USA group.  They talked about similar topics with me, and were smarter than my fellow classmates and more polite.

I’ve never been patient with stupid/uncultured people.  My father’s tendencies (which he passed onto me) do not allow for that.  With a few exceptions, I don’t really work with stupid people.  All my siblings are like me; some to lesser extents, but they still have it.  We practice on each other to sharpen our repartee and our sardonic wit.  At my restaurant, I have to deal with stupid customers, not stupid coworkers.  However, when I go to the dentist, I pray that the front desk won’t f*ck up my doctor’s schedule.  If they do, that’s when I pray to God to give me the strength not to kill them, and to protect my IQ level.

The meme that’s above?  I found it while just looking for funny quotes to make me laugh.  I showed it to my younger sister, who is just as ruthless as I am, and she burst out cackling.  Sometimes that’s all it takes to lift my spirit if I’m feeling down.  Laughter is a medicine in and of itself.  Sarcasm is just a specific type of antibiotic for life.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Stupidity Abounds

This past weekend while at the restaurant, I was once more amused by the stupidity of humanity as a whole.  From where I am in the restaurant, I can see quite a bit of what goes on, so I can watch people doing all kinds of weird things.  That, and I can exchange looks with my fellow coworkers as they wait for their drinks at the end of the bar.  As I believe I have mentioned in the past, we found a place to put the sign so people can see it when they come in.  When I arrive, I turn it from ‘Please seat yourself’ to ‘Please wait to be seated’.  It’s right there and the only way you can miss it is if you failed to pass elementary reading.

This weekend, I had several people come in, look around, see me, and ask, “Can we sit anywhere?” or “Can we seat ourselves?”  I don’t know… what does the sign say?  It says ‘Please wait to be seated’.  Some people are good, and they wait by my little area while I clean tables.  Other people are bad, and they just wander around and plop down wherever they feel like.  I love it when people ask me if they can sit at a table that is currently dirty.

I always say, “Give me a second and I’ll clean it up.”  I go to clear it and when I get back to actually clean it, they’re already sitting there in the company of crumbs and spills.  I almost wanted to walk away and let them sit there in the mess.  I said clearly and anybody with two brain cells between their ears would understand that I wanted them to wait until the table was ready.  Another funny thing that happened was I was cleaning up and two people walked in.  I stopped what I was doing and walked over.  “Can I help you?” I asked and they walked right by me.  I muttered to myself and watched them go off into our little lounge area.  I finished with my table and sat back up at my post, not bothering to bring them menus or inform the server.  I would always claim ignorance if they complained.  ‘Oh, but, they didn’t see me.’  The server came up a minute later to get menus.

She said, “Two people sat in my side of the lounge.”

I widened my eyes, a smirk played on my lips, and I said in a mocking voice, “Really?!”  The server laughed.  She knew I wasn’t directing that at her; I was directing that at them.  I love it when people walk over to a place, and then they happen to see me.

One of them will walk over and say, “Oh… were we supposed to wait for you?”

Let me think… kind of, yeah.  The sign is a dead giveaway, but apparently, you’re a few marshmellows short of a s’more.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Single, With Jobs (and Parents)

Unlike some people out in the world, I don’t have a lot of time to waste or potter about.  And everybody thinks I do.  I hate it when I’m sitting at home, and it’s my one day off (Sunday), and I hear my dad say, “M/N isn’t doing anything.  Have her do it.”  Um… no.  Emphatically and really and truly no.  Whenever this happens, my mom will come to get me, but she always gets a slightly sarcastic reply.

She’ll tell me my dad wants me to make a salad, and I’ll say, “Oh?  I guess men are physically incapable of making a salad.”  I don’t mean all men when I say this; just my brothers.  They drink beer, smoke cigars, and talk, but are unable to make a salad.  It’s actually quite funny.

Another funny thing that happened to me, but this was several years ago.  We were (all eight of us) sitting and eating dinner, and my dad leaned in between me and one of elder brothers to reach something.  In order to make room for him, I had to tilt my chair to one side.  My brother just stayed where he was.  As my dad was reaching (more over me than him), he said, “Sorry, [my brother’s name].  I’ll get out your way in a second.”  I just started laughing and everyone looked at me like I was crazy.  I apologized, while laughing maniacally, and I explained after my dad left why I had started laughing.  Both my sisters agreed that it was funny.  Nothing against my brothers (really), but the situation was humorous.

As for the jobs, they’re going pretty good.  I finished my second module at school with good grades and my teacher told me I was doing very well.  As for my unofficial internship at my old office, I know that one of my doctors is kind of in need of an assistant.  I offered and she said she would most certainly keep me in mind.  I like helping her and my regular doctor.  Actually, last week, my mentor stepped out of the room and let me help the dentist on my own.  We did a space maintainer, filling, and extraction on a child (who was so good for us), and a silver and white filling on an adult.  I am glad he did that; for it shows the faith he has in me.  However, Friday, I couldn’t go in because I had conjunctivitis, or in lay man’s terms: pink eye.  Yay!  Took my drops and tried to make myself appear as normal as possible.

Then, at the restaurant, my manager called me over and said, “So, you know you have to dress up next Friday?”  I nodded because it’s the Friday before Halloween.  He immediately added, “You have to be Goku.”  If I didn’t have wonderful self-control (sometimes), I would have lost my sh*t.

“Nope, not doing Goku.”

“Why not?  You’ve got a week.”

“Because I’ve only got a week, and I hate Dragon Ball Z.”  Arrow through his heart, anime style.  I’ll just resurrect an old Tekko costume.  It’s cheaper and I already have it; why not in hell use it?!  Anywhoo, that’s my single life with jobs (and parents).  Oh, Al Bundy!  You’re an inspiration to all of us!

And on that note, it’s been real!

Life & Lemons

Everyone has heard the saying, “When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.”  A lot of people live by that philosophy.  I’m not one of them.  Life has given me some lemons over the years, and actually, quite a few this year alone.  But, I tend to go with the philosophy of Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes.  His saying is as follows, “If life gives you lemons, you sling ’em back and add a few of your own.”

Even though I know when the New Year comes around, I’ll be thinking about all the bad stuff that happened all through out the year over again, I’m thinking about it right now.  Personal issues between my sister and father, and him trying to get us to ostracize her; getting screwed on my vacation/other appointments because of a twit; the IRS scam call that scared me to death; drama at the office and etc. etc.

But, I guess I also have to focus on the good things.  Spending a few days with my older sister and being free; going to Cedar Point with my sibs and friends; my anime conventions; my mentor at the dentist, etc. etc.  I guess in a way, I have slung my lemons back at life and told it to go f*ck itself.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Advice from the Fashion (Wo)Man

One thing I like to think people can trust me with when they come to me is fashion advice.  Usually, my sisters, and a few of my friends.  They’ll ask me for my opinion about costumes for conventions, and my younger sister will usually ask me about what to wear to school dances and so on.  Makeup too.

Depending upon one’s age, dress accordingly.  Don’t be thirteen going on thirty, or sixty pretending to be twenty (I’ve seen that, and it’s given me nightmares).  My younger sister only just turned eighteen this year, so, she can stick to the skinny jeans and the cute tops.  Her face and skin tone don’t really seem to support dark eye shadow, so I recommend that she sticks with the light browns, beiges, and pinks.

At twenty-two, I have been transitioning into shorter skirts with heels, and tight, low-cut tops.  Only for outings at bars.  😉  Still haven’t had a lot of those that didn’t take place after I was getting off work.  It’s harder to carry all that fancy stuff in a small bag than it is to simply put it on and go.  And actually, it’s kind of funny that my mom will go shopping, find something that is really cute (on clearance or sale), and if it doesn’t fit her, she’ll give it to me.  Quite frequently, I find myself getting clothes that way.  Other times, it doesn’t work out and she has to return them.  I’ve gotten some pretty little tops from my mom’s penchant for clearance racks.

Now that autumn is here, I’ll start wearing my boots.  Tall boots when I’m feeling punky; and short, heeled ankle boots for a classier approach.  Shorter dresses are also catching my eye.  Hey!  If a girl is maybe going to a wedding in the next couple of months, one can never shop too early.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Life Happens & It’s Annoying

So, I woke up this morning and one of my eyes was sticking closed.  I figured it was just some mascara I had forgotten to take off last night had somehow managed to semi-glue my eye shut.  I finagled it open, only to realize that some nasty stuff was coming from my eye.  Of course, you all know what my mind was screaming when I realized that.  Pink eye!  When I got to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, my eye was red, but not horrifically so.  I told my mom about it, but still went to school so that my teacher would know that I tried.

After I arrived at school and my teacher had one of the Med Assistant instructors take a glance at me, she gave me some homework and told me to see a doctor and take the rest of the day off.  At the doctor’s office, he gave me a rather vague answer, saying it could only the early stages of pink eye, so he prescribed the drops and gave me a school excuse.  I am now spending the rest of the day doing what I want, taking my drops, hot compresses, and sleeping.  Maybe some writing.  And homework, and sh*t…

Sometimes, I hate it when life happens.

And on that note, it’s been real!