Amazon in Middle Earth?

Alright, if you don’t know that Amazon bought the rights to Middle Earth and plan on doing a pre-pre series to both The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings; have you been living on Mars?

Amazon/Middle Earth

For those of you who are not informed, that is a link to an article covering Amazon purchasing the rights and some speculations.  I’ve got mixed emotions about the whole thing.  When it comes to the two sets of trilogies, I do get a kick out of them.  That’s only because my sister sits next to me and we decide that Boromir, Merry and Pippin need a motor boat to get to the Falls of Rauros, and the balrog is now Billy Bob Balrog.  That aside, I enjoy them, but I am aware of when they have deviated from the book.  Tom Bombadil, for instance.  The character is a jolly, but powerful individual that Peter Jackson left out!  They left him out!  Him and his beautiful and equally resourceful wife, Goldberry.  Gone!  Cut from the universe!  I’ll start ranting if I continue, so I will move on.

Anyway, Amazon said they planned on doing a prequel series to even The Hobbit, which probably means they will attempt to do The Simarillion.  The Simarillion is even longer than The Lord of the Rings, which makes it perfect series material.  Of course, that also depends on how Amazon decides to represent it.  Will they follow verbatim what Tolkien put down?  Or will they follow in Peter Jackson’s footsteps and take creative license?  The epic story tells the tale of Beren and Luthien, the two characters upon which Tolkien built his universe.  Many fascinating characters live within The Simarillion besides Beren and Luthien.  There is Huan, the Hound of the Valar and companion of both Beren and Luthien.  There is Tevildo, the feline cohort of Morgoth (the Valar have hounds and Morgoth has cats), and arch-enemy of Huan.  Carcharoth, one of the wolves in the service of Morgoth, and the creature responsible for biting off the hand of Beren that was holding one of the Simarillions.  Loosely based off the Nordic myth when Fenrir bit off the hand of the god, Tyr.

The story as a whole is a long romantic tragedy, that just manages to have a happy ending .  Beren, a mortal man, falls in love with Luthien, and elven princess.  Her father doesn’t want him to marry her, so he says in order for him to grant his permission, Beren must retrieve one of the Simarillions from the crown of Morgoth.  Basically a suicide mission.  But being a determined woman, Luthien escapes her father and joins Beren and Huan on their quest to steal one of the powerful stones.  The Simarillion has enough plot for Amazon to make a series out of it.  Now, let’s just see if they make a good one.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Go Down with the Ship

Everyone (well, most everyone) knows what a ‘ship’ is these days.  A ship is when fans pair their favorite characters together and make them a couple.  Regardless of gender, BTW.  The idea of ships is not in and of itself; it’s just hysterically funny.  Some of the ships people do come up with, it’s like, “You had nothing better to do, so you did this.”

My younger sister had no idea what a ship was, so I decided to ‘educate’ her.  She probably still hates me for it now.  Here is a list of some of the ships that have been done, and I will asterisk the ones my sister hates.

  1. Cherik – Charles and Erik (X-Men)
  2. Ereri – Eren and Levi (Attack on Titan)
  3. McDanno – McGarrett and Danny (Hawaii Five-0)
  4. Jelsa – Jack Frost and Elsa (The Guardians and Frozen)
  5. Jonerys – Jon Snow and Daenerys (Game of Thrones)
  6. Olicity – Oliver and Felicity (Arrow)
  7. Stony – Steve and Tony (The Avengers)*
  8. Bagginshield or Thilbo – Thorin and Bilbo (The Hobbit)*
  9. Stucky – Steve and Bucky (Captain America)
  10. Thorki – Thor and Loki (Thor)*
  11. Lokane – Loki and Jane (Thor: The Dark World)
  12. Larcy – Loki and Darcy (Thor)
  13. Johnlock – John Watson and Sherlock Holmes (Sherlock)

There are a few other ones from Middle Earth that don’t have official names, but they exist, and piss my sister off so much.  Except for maybe the Boromir/Eowyn one.  She likes to entertain the possibilities.

The funny aspect is that there are people out there who spend a large portion of their day thinking this sh*t up and putting it out on the internet.  It’s hysterical!  I’m laughing my *ss off right now!  We all have characters we really like and we want to see them happy in their shows, or movies, or whatever.  But, really?  Putting them in impossible relationships like that?  Your life is sad, sad, sad if you’re thinking about that.  And you probably don’t have a relationship of your own if you’re worried about somebody else’s.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Dr. Google Will See You Now

The Internet is equal parts informative and idiotic.  You can learn new things from looking it up on the Internet, and other times, you just make yourself a little more stupid.  Not going to lie; I’ve looked up something on the Internet, made a statement about it, and was made a fool of when I was corrected.  I have since learned to be more discerning and find out from multiple sources whether it is the truth or a misconception.

Now, what I find particularly hilarious, is when patients walk into an office, and say they have this certain ailment.  The assistant or the doctor asks them why they think they have that.  “Oh, I looked it up on Google.”  … crickets …

Do you have any idea how stupid you look to the doctor when you say that?  Incredibly, powerfully, monumentally, and insanely a few plums short of a pie.  That kind of stupid.  Google is a wonderful place.  But may I also remind you that it was the building block for Tinder, Tumblr, and a whole slew of other sites most people would like to forget they were ever a part of.  So… the next time you are feeling ill, and want a ‘first opinion’, don’t go to Google.  Unlike your doctor, Google doesn’t have a Ph.D.  Okay, maybe it does.  But it actually stands for ‘Published Health Distortion.’

And on that note, it’s been real!