I Love It When a Review Comes Together

I’m proud to say that I know the original A-Team show, and not because I was alive when it was airing (by any means).  But, one night we turned our TV on and the Retro channel was playing this quirky dramady about four guys on the lamb, ex-military, helping people who couldn’t go to anybody else.  To six young kids, they were modern day Robin Hoods with automatic weapons and a sexy black van.  Now, everyone these days tends to remember the A-Team movie, that fell shy of the bar the show raised, but, I don’t think I will go into those details right now.  For this post, I’ll just focus on why the show was so good.

One of the main reasons the show was popular, were the characters.  The main characters were the four members of the Vietnam special forces team: Col. John Hannibal Smith, Lt. Templeton ‘Faceman’ Peck, Capt. H. M. Murdock, and Sgt. B. A. Baracus.  They had their skills, their quirks, and their signature looks that people could relate to.  Hannibal was the leader and ‘father-figure’ as it were of the group.  He smoked cigars, was usually on the ‘jazz’, and was a struggling actor.  He led the team without any doubts as to the decisions he made; and if anything did faze him, he kept it to himself.  He also had complete faith in his men, and whether or not he told that to them plainly, or masked it in loving sarcasm, he still told them.

Even though he was a rank below Murdock in the military, Face operated as Hannibal’s second-in-command.  He was the scrounger of the group; ask and you shall receive.  He was also their playboy, always with a girl on his arm and a smooth phrase on the tip of his tongue.  He was the looks for all the girls who watched the show.  He was all about appearances, being the grifter, he had to look good.  He was always armed with a killer wardrobe.  Face always whined about doing dangerous jobs, or ones that didn’t bring in a lot of money, but in the end, he still did the right thing.

Murdock was always the wildcard, the unpredictable contestant in every plan.  He was technically committed to a psych ward right after the Vietnam War, and had been there ever since.  Murdock was usually the person that was silently called upon to freak their targets out.  He had his dog, Billy; he spoke to his horse, among many other things that made Murdock unique.  Although, the best thing Murdock did for them was fly.  He flew helicopters, planes, even a patched together glider.  While singing German opera on that last one.  Only a certifiably crazy person woulddo something like that.  Although, Murdock was also a bit of a chameleon.  He dabbled in the jobs of Hannibal, Face, and B.A.  He admired Hannibal, was in awe of B.A., and loved Face.  But, he was still basically the child of the family.

The last member of the team was B.A. Baracus.  B.A. was the team’s sergeant in the army, but on the run, he was the driver, the mechanic, and the muscle.  He was also actually the soft spot of the group.  He loved children and many a kid worked their way under his thick skin.  He also liked helping the elderly, and frequently got the team on their charity cases.  He kept mostly to himself though while off the job, never dating or seeing any women.  There were a few women on the show who had an interest in him, but his true love was always his big, black, beautiful van.  And everyone heard about it if anything happened to it.  Heads rolled.

On the whole, the show was a huge success, despite the best efforts of the television station.  The feminists and liberals hated it, but the actors still took over the show and kept it true for the sake of their young viewers.  And those young viewers have grown up now, and are thanking that show for making their childhoods memorable.

And on that note, it’s been real!

 

And Keep the Change!

Christmas is now in three days and I shall bid you all adieu until after New Year’s.  I have plans with my family and I want to devote all my free time to that, as well as some writing for other things that I need to do.

I’m sure the rest of you all have plans and only so many hours in a day without taking time out to read my little blog.  I hope to come back in the new year with a fervor and passion that should make people laugh, nod their heads in agreement and say, “What?!”  Writing should resume on 1/2/2018.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Twelve Days of Christmas: Restaurant Edition

Sing along if you know the tune (and you should).

On the first day of Christmas, my restaurant gave to me: (And) A whole pile of crockery!

On the second day of Christmas, my restaurant gave to me: two broken glasses!

On the third day of Christmas, my restaurant gave to me: three cussing cooks!

On the fourth day of Christmas, my restaurant gave to me: four winging waiters!

On the fifth day of Christmas, my restaurant gave to me: five bar patrons!

On the sixth day of Christmas, my restaurant gave to me: six reservations!

On the seventh day of Christmas, my restaurant gave to me: seven seat themselves!

On the eighth day of Christmas, my restaurant gave to me: eight unlit candles!

On the ninth day of Christmas, my restaurant gave to me: nine call aheads!

On the tenth day of Christmas, my restaurant gave to me: ten draft beers!

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my restaurant gave to me: eleven drunk diners!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my restaurant gave to me: twelve open checks!

And there you have it.

And on that (musical) note, it’s been real!

All Others Still Pay Cash

Every Christmas, the TV plays marathons of A Christmas Story, and we know most of the lines.  We can recite them back and forth, and up and down, and side to side.  What most people probably don’t know is that the movie was based off a book written by the narrator, Jean Shepard.  It’s called “In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash”.  It’s a funny book and many things that happen in it and in the movie are relate-able.

My dad will tell us about being chased by bullies and trying to avoid them at school.  I sit there and think, “I shared a room with my bully.”  My younger brother went through a hair pulling, back jumping phase, and I bore the brunt of it.  But then, we just threw stuff into each other’s beds at night, and after I clocked him in the head with block I hid under my pillow, and that did the trick.

Everyone recall the Lifeboy soap?  “It… it… it twas!  Soap poisoning!”  Yep.  We all have had that moment after you get punished by your parents: this is when you’ve crawled away and are licking your wounds, you dream of the most unlikely scenario where they will be sorry they did it.  And it’s so funny!  You watch this movie and remember, ‘Wait.  I used to do that.’

Then, obviously, the wanting that Christmas present so much, you literally scheme like Moriarty to get it.  You know how it goes: you see it in a magazine, you circle it, bend the page, drop hints, and just beat around the bush.  And if you really want it and it’s kind of expensive, you never get too old to do it.  I want to go to a Sabaton concert in March when they are visiting Philadelphia.  I told my younger brother to start making suggestions to do that as my birthday present this next year after Christmas.  See?  You’re never too old.

And finally, those awful presents you get from relatives that you aren’t overly fond of.  My dad’s one sister got my elder sister and me these large dolls when we were younger.  I have had dolls before, but they were all smaller than me and cuter.  This one was the height and weight of my entire upper body, and she had an ugly expression on her face.  Needless to say, I held her and smiled at my aunt, but immediately dumped the doll in a toy trunk the moment I got home.  The doll was quickly forgotten and disposed until it was thrown out years later.

The movie certainly has many moments people can relate to and laugh at and nod their heads in agreement.  But one thing we can all be sure about is that it captures the magic and hilarity of Christmas perfectly.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Everyone’s Evil Plan: Stop Monday

This Monday is and isn’t like the normal Mondays.  It isn’t because I don’t have to go to school (I’m done for the semester and not going back till after New Year’s [yay!]); and it is because it’s still Monday.  Blah!  I slept in, did some cleaning, and then will go to the dentist early and get some extra hours.

And even better news, my brothers get back from basic training this week!  My eldest brother is back tomorrow (but I’ll already be at work), and my second elder brother will come back Wednesday morning.  I can’t wait to see them again!  We want to watch Christmas movies together, play games, and hang out.  It’ll be different this year, more bitter sweet because they have to go back after New Year’s.  And I don’t know when they’ll come back.

Any other plans for my Monday…?  We got our tree up over the weekend, but we’ll probably wait on decorating it until either Saturday or Christmas Eve.  Either or.  We’ve gotten sloppy with certain Christmas traditions the older we’ve become.  But… that’s next this upcoming weekend.  Today is work, cleaning, and a wee bit of sleeping.  And writing!  Yay for writing!  And booing to Mondays.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Tornado Pristine is Coming Through!

Ever since I was really young, I’ve always been a neat freak.  I used to share a room with my two sisters, and the place would always be a pigsty in no time.  The eldest was the sloppiest, with the youngest being slightly less so, and me being the perfectionist.  Every couple of months, I wouldn’t be able to take the mess anymore, and I would kick them out of the room and spend an entire day (and then some) cleaning up.  Stuff got thrown out and reorganized.  If my sisters got annoyed that I got rid of something or moved something, I told them they should have done it themselves.

As the years have gone on, the cleaning has trickled down, but mostly because I’m too busy, and when I am home, I don’t want to do anything.  However, if things start to really get on my nerves, I’ll actually tell my younger sister (the elder moved out) to clean up her sh*t and then I’ll get to mine.

I’m kind of trying to clean up now, but on a different level.  I’m trying to sell some of my books an old anime on Ebay.  No nibbles yet.  If that doesn’t work, I’ll take them to the nearest Half Priced Books and get rid of them there.  Make a little money and get rid of some stuff I’m not using.  I always like the feeling I get after I clean up and make space anywhere in my room.  Of course, the idea is so I can put something else there that I will use.  But, I do like to leave it bare for a while, so the illusion of clean and neat stays with me.  Too soon, my sister shatters it.  There will be clothes on the floor, socks under the bed, exercise items scattered about, and shoes hap-hazardly spread around.  Yep… that’s my roommate.

And on that note, it’s been real!

A Hostess’ Perfect Restaurant

Business seems to have picked up with the arrival of the colder weather and the start of the season where every company decides to have their Christmas Party around the same time.  It is at times like this when I plan the perfect restaurant: basically the restaurant where every customer does exactly what I saw, sits where I put them, and keeps their mouth shut.  Here is my perfect restaurant…

  1. Force field – this force field would surround my little area, and nobody can leave that force field without me escorting them.  This force field would prevent people from walking to a table and seating themselves when I’m not there.
  2. Electrified seats – electrified seats would be in place in case people moved from the bar to a table without seeing me, or moved from one table to another because the first table ‘wasn’t quite right’.
  3. Sign-triggered door – the sign-triggered door is where the door will not open until the people see the sign in the atrium that says ‘Please wait to be seated.’  Once it acknowledges that they’ve read it, the door will open.

Thinking about things like this helps me cope with the fact that the bulk of humans who walk into my restaurant are incredibly stupid, but then they have the audacity to look at me like I made the mistake.  One of my favorites is when people walk in and just stare at me after we greet each other.  You know what they’re waiting for?  They’re waiting for me to magically read their minds to gauge how many are in their party.

I took an extra shift at work on Wednesday night, and I had some funny encounters that had my coworkers chuckling to themselves.  First, I had a woman about my height come in and I sat her at our higher half booth, half tables.  Now, I’m petite, so I’m about 5ft 5″ in height.  A few minutes later, she came up to me and said, “Can we move to another table?  My friend and I are short, and that’s not comfortable.”  I sighed (inwardly), sat her at a lower table and went to tell the server.

When I found her, I said, “Sorry I double sat you; but apparently both her and her friend are hobbits.”  It took the server two seconds to get the reference and she started laughing.  After that, I had a man walk in when all my tables were occupied.  I told him it would be a little bit of a wait, and watched to see when a table would get up.  A little while later, his wife and son arrived and he told them what I had said.  Immediately, his wife started looking around to see if there was something open.  Two tables had just gotten up at that time, and I was cleaning one of them off.  A server told the lady to wait for me, but she either didn’t hear her or chose to ignore her.  You see me cleaning a table, right?  Patience is a virtue!  After that, I had three really young men walk in and seat themselves at a table instead of waiting for me.  One of the bartenders and a couple of the servers all laughed when they saw me sigh and roll my eyes dramatically.  Needless to say, I went back to my post and did not get them menus.  Ah ha!  The hostess strikes again!  Never assume that a hostess is evil.  Merely assume that she is tired of having people try to (indirectly) tell her how to do her job.  Speaking from experience, it gets very frustrating.

And on that note, it’s been real!