DA – Don’t Ask!

Guess who is back after a sabbatical that lasted a couple of months?  That would be me!  Hello world!

World – Who are you?

Me – I’m a person who just accomplished something.

World – Congratulations.  Hey, knock, knock.

Me – Who’s there?

World – Life.

Me – I walked into that one.

Yep, I completed my externship and passed my radiology exam.  I am a full fledged dental assistant and working for my extern site.  I work out of three dental offices with three different doctors.  I really like two of them, but the third still needs to grow on me.  I’m getting paid what I want to get paid, and working forty hours a week (maybe a little more [over time!]).  I still work at the restaurant, so that’s extra money for me.

I asked one of my fellow dental assistants at the one office today if she could consider being my roommate and moving out with me next year.  She said she would.  So, things are rolling in the right direction (I hope) for me right now.  Wish me luck!  Life always manages to find a way to kick people in the balls.

And on that note, it’s been real!

I’m Surrounded by Idiots – A Villain’s Philosophy

Everyone has seen the movie The Lion King, and everyone knows the villain, a devious lion called Scar.  He is one of Disney’s most prominent villains (and that is partly because he is voiced by the marvelous [and British] Jeremy Irons) because he is evil with a hint of charm.  Come on!  If anybody ever said that Scar isn’t charming in a scary sort of way, I would have sharp words with them.

We all remember the scene where he sings the gratuitous villain song, “Be Prepared”.  Before he starts singing, Scar is explaining his plan to the hyenas and they just aren’t getting it.  He puts his paw to his temple and mutters, “I’m surrounded by idiots.”  How many times have we done that since we matured?  A lot, we all know that at least.  There are moments in life where we are surprised by the sheer stupidity of a situation or a person.

Since I have grown up (and become more dry witted with age, kind of like a good wine), I have become less tolerant of stupidity in all its forms.  Of course, that is partly due to example set by my father.  He punished stupidity decisively and without mercy (dramatic emphasis).  Anyway, every time I see or hear something that challenges intelligence as we know it, I always say, “I’m surrounded by idiots.”  Certain things at work make me blink once, twice, and my one eye usually twitches sporadically.  Example being over Easter weekend, I had a family of four walk in and I didn’t have a table for them and I told them they would have to wait a bit.  Instead, like every other ‘smart’ person out there, they asked to sit four people at a table that could seat twelve.  I told them no, “It’s meant for larger parties.”

“Can’t you pull that other table away so we can sit there?”  Said ‘other’ table, could seat four people, but there was no space to put it in to, or extra chairs to put around it to seat four.  Needless to say, I did my two blinks and eye twitch.  I couldn’t (and I never will) understand why people don’t seem to get that I am a hostess, not a magician.

“Damn it, Jim!  I’m a doctor, not a magician!” – Leonard ‘Bones’ McCoy, Star Trek

And on that note, it’s been real!

It’s Spring Break- I’m Outta Here!

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written, but I’m back and here’s the reason why… it’s Spring Break!  Yippee!  Took a final last week and only got one wrong, so that was nice, and then my doctor left to go to Mexico (like he does every year around Easter).  This week, I am assisting our female doctor, but I’m only going in today, and I went in on Monday.  I had my birthday earlier this week and took the day off to get my hair colored and join a gym.  I had gone to the gym to tour it last week and I liked it, but I wanted to wait before I signed up for anything.

I am not a very physically active person; and my younger sister is always the person to remind me of that because she plays basketball and boxes and works out every day.  Once, she was doing pushups in our room and I just walked up and placed my foot on her back and said, “This is my leg workout for the day.”  She fell to the floor laughing and we still joke about it to this day.  Anyway, the manager of the gym was very polite and enthusiastic and I liked the way the place looked, so I came back earlier this week and took a membership.  I am having my first training session this Saturday.

I also have to sort through paperwork for my externship.  Yay!  Paperwork.  Not fun.  And definitely not how I want to spend what little time off I have left.  I just want to sleep in till 8:20, then lounge till after 9:00; watch an A-Team episode with breakfast and coffee, then write until my fingernails split; and maybe go to my other jobs when I have to.  See!  I’m not even off off.  I’m just taking a break from school.  But, I’m trying not to take a break from life.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Prairie Dog Poppers

I know what you’re thinking.  You’re looking at the picture and the title and wondering, “What could this be about?”  Well, I can tell you it’s about funny little observations I’ve made while being a hostess, and most people do it.

Now, everyone hates to hear that there is a wait of any kind for a table.  They want to sit down right then and there and order their food and drink and eat immediately.  Nice, right?  Well, on Fridays and Saturdays at most establishments, you have to wait a few minutes.  Sometimes longer.  Don’t get all pissy about it.  Accept it as a fact of reality and life and you’ll find inner peace.  I’m kidding… but, seriously, shut up instead of winging about waiting.

Anyway, at my restaurant when I tell people to wait, I always scope the joint and see them looking around, as if them staring at desirable tables will somehow make them get up faster.  Hate to break it to you, but that isn’t going to happen.  We have a couch before our fireplace, and frequently I tell people to sit there while they wait to get them out of my hair.  A few minutes later, as I glance around, I’ll see somebody stand up and look around and maybe even point to a table.  You do realize that people can see you, right?  You’re not suddenly gifted with invisibility.  Reminds of the Cone of Silence from Get Smart.  We all know how that turned out.  They look silly and tables that are already seated and eating or talking, give them looks.  They pop up like prairie dogs and I have to chuckle.  I gave you a wait that was ex amount of time long.  And you’re already impatient five minutes in?  Gah!  The prairie dogs are on the loose!

In other words, when a hostess gives you a wait time and you sit down, don’t pop back up again to check on a table.  People will be judging you.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Let It Snow! Not…

I actually did not know about the weather, or at least how bad it was going to be until night time, so when everyone was talking about not dying, I was all for that.  I went to sleep last night, but set my alarm for 6:00 like I always do.  When it went off, I checked my phone and saw that my teacher was not coming in to class today because of the snow and the ice underneath the snow.  I was more than happy to go back to sleep until after 9:00.  Then, I got summoned outside to shovel the very heavy snow on our driveway.

But, the good news was that school was basically cancelled for everyone today, and my two siblings are just chilling.  They’re playing a computer game together and I am doing this blog post.  It’s been so long.  My school is still driving me crazy, my dentist has been needing me to cover for other assistants, and life in general just continues to throw curve balls at me.  Yay!

I can’t do much more of this snow and cold though.  It’s such a pain in the *ss to start my car fifteen minutes before I actually leave and scraping the snow off my windshields.  Bundling up and still managing to get cold.  It’s a beautiful thing to live in the northern states of America (not).  I want to go south!

And on that note, it’s been real!

Texting Trauma

Now, everyone has those people in their lives, who insist on having everything spelled correctly, even in texts.  No words can be shortened, no abbreviations that aren’t accepted in the unknown Guide to Abbreviations, no short cuts of any kind.  In fact, the only word they might accept is ‘ok’.  Otherwise, everything must be as if you’re writing an essay.  I’m one of those people.

I mentioned several posts ago (still in 2017) that I met a guy and we’re basically in a relationship that this point.  We text each other every day and see each other every weekend.  Anyway, he doesn’t always take the time to spell things out or check to make sure the spelling is even correct.  He’ll send me texts that are not grammatically correct, and I will text him back to correct him.

Sometimes, he says after he presses ‘send’, he’ll realize that something wasn’t right a few seconds before I correct him.  It’s funny and I always find it amusing when he tells me that.  I don’t just fix his grammar and sentence structure, I’ll do it to members of my family as well.  Come on!  Everyone family and group of friends has that person!  Hey, any flagrant ill use of the King’s English is punishable by death in my house.  Speak proper or don’t speak at all.

And on that note, it’s been real!

I Love It When a Review Comes Together

I’m proud to say that I know the original A-Team show, and not because I was alive when it was airing (by any means).  But, one night we turned our TV on and the Retro channel was playing this quirky dramady about four guys on the lamb, ex-military, helping people who couldn’t go to anybody else.  To six young kids, they were modern day Robin Hoods with automatic weapons and a sexy black van.  Now, everyone these days tends to remember the A-Team movie, that fell shy of the bar the show raised, but, I don’t think I will go into those details right now.  For this post, I’ll just focus on why the show was so good.

One of the main reasons the show was popular, were the characters.  The main characters were the four members of the Vietnam special forces team: Col. John Hannibal Smith, Lt. Templeton ‘Faceman’ Peck, Capt. H. M. Murdock, and Sgt. B. A. Baracus.  They had their skills, their quirks, and their signature looks that people could relate to.  Hannibal was the leader and ‘father-figure’ as it were of the group.  He smoked cigars, was usually on the ‘jazz’, and was a struggling actor.  He led the team without any doubts as to the decisions he made; and if anything did faze him, he kept it to himself.  He also had complete faith in his men, and whether or not he told that to them plainly, or masked it in loving sarcasm, he still told them.

Even though he was a rank below Murdock in the military, Face operated as Hannibal’s second-in-command.  He was the scrounger of the group; ask and you shall receive.  He was also their playboy, always with a girl on his arm and a smooth phrase on the tip of his tongue.  He was the looks for all the girls who watched the show.  He was all about appearances, being the grifter, he had to look good.  He was always armed with a killer wardrobe.  Face always whined about doing dangerous jobs, or ones that didn’t bring in a lot of money, but in the end, he still did the right thing.

Murdock was always the wildcard, the unpredictable contestant in every plan.  He was technically committed to a psych ward right after the Vietnam War, and had been there ever since.  Murdock was usually the person that was silently called upon to freak their targets out.  He had his dog, Billy; he spoke to his horse, among many other things that made Murdock unique.  Although, the best thing Murdock did for them was fly.  He flew helicopters, planes, even a patched together glider.  While singing German opera on that last one.  Only a certifiably crazy person woulddo something like that.  Although, Murdock was also a bit of a chameleon.  He dabbled in the jobs of Hannibal, Face, and B.A.  He admired Hannibal, was in awe of B.A., and loved Face.  But, he was still basically the child of the family.

The last member of the team was B.A. Baracus.  B.A. was the team’s sergeant in the army, but on the run, he was the driver, the mechanic, and the muscle.  He was also actually the soft spot of the group.  He loved children and many a kid worked their way under his thick skin.  He also liked helping the elderly, and frequently got the team on their charity cases.  He kept mostly to himself though while off the job, never dating or seeing any women.  There were a few women on the show who had an interest in him, but his true love was always his big, black, beautiful van.  And everyone heard about it if anything happened to it.  Heads rolled.

On the whole, the show was a huge success, despite the best efforts of the television station.  The feminists and liberals hated it, but the actors still took over the show and kept it true for the sake of their young viewers.  And those young viewers have grown up now, and are thanking that show for making their childhoods memorable.

And on that note, it’s been real!