One Truly Is the Loneliest Number

Everyone has done this before; they walk into a restaurant by themselves and sit alone.  There’s nothing wrong with that, but as a hostess, my problem is when you ask for a table all to yourself.  Awkward!  I’m of the opinion that when you walk in by yourself, you go get a seat at the bar.  If there are no seats at the bar, maybe stand for a bit until somebody gets up.  Somebody always does, then the loner can take his seat.

Now, that in mind, don’t walk into a restaurant and ask for a table.  Standing for a bit won’t kill you.  On Wednesday night, I had a lone man walk in and there were plenty of seats at the bar, but he wanted a table.  I tried to put him at a little two top in the corner where I like to put those odd parties of one who insist on having a table.  However, he decided to be difficult and wanted another table that could seat four.  Needless to say, I was irked.  What a waste of a table on a busy night!

I’ve gone to plenty of places and sat by myself.  The breakfast bar at Eaten’ Park, a regular bar at a restaurant after work; I never request to take a table away from couples or larger groups.  But then, if you’ve never worked in the restaurant business, you don’t think of these things.  However, that is why I’m writing this blog, to enlighten the unenlightened and tell them how to behave outside their natural habitats.

Take heed!  Take heed!  This is a public service announcement!  Whenever you go to a restaurant by yourself, do not steal a table from larger groups.  Go to the bar.  The food will still taste the same there.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Customer Service – Catering to Stupid People

We all know that stupid people exist everywhere.  Unfortunately, when God created humanity, he had a sense of humor, and created stupid people.  The definition in the dictionary is as follows: the quality or state of being stupid.  Last week at the restaurant, I was (once again) able to see how stupid and quite frankly, arrogant people are.

I worked at the dentist office from 8:30-5, so it was already a long day.  From there, I spruced up a little and went to the restaurant.  When I arrived, it was surprisingly busy.  In the summer, our evenings are always hit or miss.  I clocked in and began to check on everyone to make sure they were alright.  That was when I found out that a woman at one of the tables had been making a fuss because of how her burger was made.  One of our burgers comes with the person’s choice of Canadian or regular bacon.  The lady told the server ‘no Canadian bacon’.  De facto, it was now regular bacon.  She needed to specify no bacon period, but she did not.  Hence, it came out of the kitchen with regular bacon and she threw a fit.  The waitress offered to have it sent back and remade several times, but she always refused.  Finally, she was leaving with her party and she asked me if there was a place she could place a survey of her experience that evening.  I told her that there was a little survey on the receipt.  She said she filled it out and wondered if there was another place she could post a review.  I said that there might be something on the website.

She then turned around and said that she and her husband were regulars there and the server was usually only okay, but tonight, she was bad.  She also said she was even more upset because I didn’t apologize for what happened before I even arrived on the scene.  I just bobbled my head and gave her a half smile, not even bothering to grace her with an answer.  After she finally left, I went to clear the table and the server asked me what she had been talking about.  I told her everything, including the part where she wanted me to apologize and I didn’t.  Everyone else found out in no time and they asked me what I had to apologize for.  “Not a damn thing,” I said.

Listen, I’ve been a customer to and I know I will keep being a customer long after I’m done working in the restaurant business.  But even then, I know I’m not going to get in somebody’s face and make their life difficult simply because I’m the customer.  That’s not how the world works.  Look at it this way: the server has the power to help make your experience great, or to f*ck it to kingdom come.  Don’t piss off the person or people responsible for that.  Because you just might avoid something nasty in your dinner.

And on that note, it’s been real!

 

DA – Don’t Ask!

Guess who is back after a sabbatical that lasted a couple of months?  That would be me!  Hello world!

World – Who are you?

Me – I’m a person who just accomplished something.

World – Congratulations.  Hey, knock, knock.

Me – Who’s there?

World – Life.

Me – I walked into that one.

Yep, I completed my externship and passed my radiology exam.  I am a full fledged dental assistant and working for my extern site.  I work out of three dental offices with three different doctors.  I really like two of them, but the third still needs to grow on me.  I’m getting paid what I want to get paid, and working forty hours a week (maybe a little more [over time!]).  I still work at the restaurant, so that’s extra money for me.

I asked one of my fellow dental assistants at the one office today if she could consider being my roommate and moving out with me next year.  She said she would.  So, things are rolling in the right direction (I hope) for me right now.  Wish me luck!  Life always manages to find a way to kick people in the balls.

And on that note, it’s been real!

I’m Surrounded by Idiots – A Villain’s Philosophy

Everyone has seen the movie The Lion King, and everyone knows the villain, a devious lion called Scar.  He is one of Disney’s most prominent villains (and that is partly because he is voiced by the marvelous [and British] Jeremy Irons) because he is evil with a hint of charm.  Come on!  If anybody ever said that Scar isn’t charming in a scary sort of way, I would have sharp words with them.

We all remember the scene where he sings the gratuitous villain song, “Be Prepared”.  Before he starts singing, Scar is explaining his plan to the hyenas and they just aren’t getting it.  He puts his paw to his temple and mutters, “I’m surrounded by idiots.”  How many times have we done that since we matured?  A lot, we all know that at least.  There are moments in life where we are surprised by the sheer stupidity of a situation or a person.

Since I have grown up (and become more dry witted with age, kind of like a good wine), I have become less tolerant of stupidity in all its forms.  Of course, that is partly due to example set by my father.  He punished stupidity decisively and without mercy (dramatic emphasis).  Anyway, every time I see or hear something that challenges intelligence as we know it, I always say, “I’m surrounded by idiots.”  Certain things at work make me blink once, twice, and my one eye usually twitches sporadically.  Example being over Easter weekend, I had a family of four walk in and I didn’t have a table for them and I told them they would have to wait a bit.  Instead, like every other ‘smart’ person out there, they asked to sit four people at a table that could seat twelve.  I told them no, “It’s meant for larger parties.”

“Can’t you pull that other table away so we can sit there?”  Said ‘other’ table, could seat four people, but there was no space to put it in to, or extra chairs to put around it to seat four.  Needless to say, I did my two blinks and eye twitch.  I couldn’t (and I never will) understand why people don’t seem to get that I am a hostess, not a magician.

“Damn it, Jim!  I’m a doctor, not a magician!” – Leonard ‘Bones’ McCoy, Star Trek

And on that note, it’s been real!

It’s Spring Break- I’m Outta Here!

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written, but I’m back and here’s the reason why… it’s Spring Break!  Yippee!  Took a final last week and only got one wrong, so that was nice, and then my doctor left to go to Mexico (like he does every year around Easter).  This week, I am assisting our female doctor, but I’m only going in today, and I went in on Monday.  I had my birthday earlier this week and took the day off to get my hair colored and join a gym.  I had gone to the gym to tour it last week and I liked it, but I wanted to wait before I signed up for anything.

I am not a very physically active person; and my younger sister is always the person to remind me of that because she plays basketball and boxes and works out every day.  Once, she was doing pushups in our room and I just walked up and placed my foot on her back and said, “This is my leg workout for the day.”  She fell to the floor laughing and we still joke about it to this day.  Anyway, the manager of the gym was very polite and enthusiastic and I liked the way the place looked, so I came back earlier this week and took a membership.  I am having my first training session this Saturday.

I also have to sort through paperwork for my externship.  Yay!  Paperwork.  Not fun.  And definitely not how I want to spend what little time off I have left.  I just want to sleep in till 8:20, then lounge till after 9:00; watch an A-Team episode with breakfast and coffee, then write until my fingernails split; and maybe go to my other jobs when I have to.  See!  I’m not even off off.  I’m just taking a break from school.  But, I’m trying not to take a break from life.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Prairie Dog Poppers

I know what you’re thinking.  You’re looking at the picture and the title and wondering, “What could this be about?”  Well, I can tell you it’s about funny little observations I’ve made while being a hostess, and most people do it.

Now, everyone hates to hear that there is a wait of any kind for a table.  They want to sit down right then and there and order their food and drink and eat immediately.  Nice, right?  Well, on Fridays and Saturdays at most establishments, you have to wait a few minutes.  Sometimes longer.  Don’t get all pissy about it.  Accept it as a fact of reality and life and you’ll find inner peace.  I’m kidding… but, seriously, shut up instead of winging about waiting.

Anyway, at my restaurant when I tell people to wait, I always scope the joint and see them looking around, as if them staring at desirable tables will somehow make them get up faster.  Hate to break it to you, but that isn’t going to happen.  We have a couch before our fireplace, and frequently I tell people to sit there while they wait to get them out of my hair.  A few minutes later, as I glance around, I’ll see somebody stand up and look around and maybe even point to a table.  You do realize that people can see you, right?  You’re not suddenly gifted with invisibility.  Reminds of the Cone of Silence from Get Smart.  We all know how that turned out.  They look silly and tables that are already seated and eating or talking, give them looks.  They pop up like prairie dogs and I have to chuckle.  I gave you a wait that was ex amount of time long.  And you’re already impatient five minutes in?  Gah!  The prairie dogs are on the loose!

In other words, when a hostess gives you a wait time and you sit down, don’t pop back up again to check on a table.  People will be judging you.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Let It Snow! Not…

I actually did not know about the weather, or at least how bad it was going to be until night time, so when everyone was talking about not dying, I was all for that.  I went to sleep last night, but set my alarm for 6:00 like I always do.  When it went off, I checked my phone and saw that my teacher was not coming in to class today because of the snow and the ice underneath the snow.  I was more than happy to go back to sleep until after 9:00.  Then, I got summoned outside to shovel the very heavy snow on our driveway.

But, the good news was that school was basically cancelled for everyone today, and my two siblings are just chilling.  They’re playing a computer game together and I am doing this blog post.  It’s been so long.  My school is still driving me crazy, my dentist has been needing me to cover for other assistants, and life in general just continues to throw curve balls at me.  Yay!

I can’t do much more of this snow and cold though.  It’s such a pain in the *ss to start my car fifteen minutes before I actually leave and scraping the snow off my windshields.  Bundling up and still managing to get cold.  It’s a beautiful thing to live in the northern states of America (not).  I want to go south!

And on that note, it’s been real!