I’m Back, B*tches!

I’m a zombie, come back to life!  Just kidding!  Hello, my readers!  I know it’s been a very long time.  Pretty much an entire year since I’ve written.  I think the last time I posted something, I was studying for my radiology exam, and was about to segway into the workforce full time.  Well, that happened.  So, I might as well catch you up on the goings on in my ‘real’ life.

I passed my radiology exam a year ago, today, and was the happiest clam in the ocean.  The very next day, I went in and told my doctor I passed.  He said, “Great.  Take this xray on our patient.”  It was business as usual, except I got to push the button.  I got a pay raise (of course) and started making money!  I worked (still do) seven days a week, and I doubled on Wednesdays and Fridays.  I cut the Wednesdays in January this year, but I still double Fridays.  I got a bonus from the one office I work at because we tripled our production in January and have been going pretty strong ever since.  Yay!

My sister started working at the same restaurant as me a month or so ago, so now she bugs me there as well as at home.  She just finished up her first year of college and was dying to make some money.  I still get a kick out of working there and she just adds an extra layer of amusement to the job.

I got a tattoo last week.  Been wanting to get one for a while.  It’s on my ankle and is Japanese cherry blossom with the symbols for ‘Unique’ on the inside of my ankle.  My mom saw it and just shook her head.  My younger sister was like, “I want one!”  The old man still has to see it.

Otherwise, I’m still surviving, still working, still writing, still keeping it real.

And on that note, it’s been real!

One Truly Is the Loneliest Number

Everyone has done this before; they walk into a restaurant by themselves and sit alone.  There’s nothing wrong with that, but as a hostess, my problem is when you ask for a table all to yourself.  Awkward!  I’m of the opinion that when you walk in by yourself, you go get a seat at the bar.  If there are no seats at the bar, maybe stand for a bit until somebody gets up.  Somebody always does, then the loner can take his seat.

Now, that in mind, don’t walk into a restaurant and ask for a table.  Standing for a bit won’t kill you.  On Wednesday night, I had a lone man walk in and there were plenty of seats at the bar, but he wanted a table.  I tried to put him at a little two top in the corner where I like to put those odd parties of one who insist on having a table.  However, he decided to be difficult and wanted another table that could seat four.  Needless to say, I was irked.  What a waste of a table on a busy night!

I’ve gone to plenty of places and sat by myself.  The breakfast bar at Eaten’ Park, a regular bar at a restaurant after work; I never request to take a table away from couples or larger groups.  But then, if you’ve never worked in the restaurant business, you don’t think of these things.  However, that is why I’m writing this blog, to enlighten the unenlightened and tell them how to behave outside their natural habitats.

Take heed!  Take heed!  This is a public service announcement!  Whenever you go to a restaurant by yourself, do not steal a table from larger groups.  Go to the bar.  The food will still taste the same there.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Customer Service – Catering to Stupid People

We all know that stupid people exist everywhere.  Unfortunately, when God created humanity, he had a sense of humor, and created stupid people.  The definition in the dictionary is as follows: the quality or state of being stupid.  Last week at the restaurant, I was (once again) able to see how stupid and quite frankly, arrogant people are.

I worked at the dentist office from 8:30-5, so it was already a long day.  From there, I spruced up a little and went to the restaurant.  When I arrived, it was surprisingly busy.  In the summer, our evenings are always hit or miss.  I clocked in and began to check on everyone to make sure they were alright.  That was when I found out that a woman at one of the tables had been making a fuss because of how her burger was made.  One of our burgers comes with the person’s choice of Canadian or regular bacon.  The lady told the server ‘no Canadian bacon’.  De facto, it was now regular bacon.  She needed to specify no bacon period, but she did not.  Hence, it came out of the kitchen with regular bacon and she threw a fit.  The waitress offered to have it sent back and remade several times, but she always refused.  Finally, she was leaving with her party and she asked me if there was a place she could place a survey of her experience that evening.  I told her that there was a little survey on the receipt.  She said she filled it out and wondered if there was another place she could post a review.  I said that there might be something on the website.

She then turned around and said that she and her husband were regulars there and the server was usually only okay, but tonight, she was bad.  She also said she was even more upset because I didn’t apologize for what happened before I even arrived on the scene.  I just bobbled my head and gave her a half smile, not even bothering to grace her with an answer.  After she finally left, I went to clear the table and the server asked me what she had been talking about.  I told her everything, including the part where she wanted me to apologize and I didn’t.  Everyone else found out in no time and they asked me what I had to apologize for.  “Not a damn thing,” I said.

Listen, I’ve been a customer to and I know I will keep being a customer long after I’m done working in the restaurant business.  But even then, I know I’m not going to get in somebody’s face and make their life difficult simply because I’m the customer.  That’s not how the world works.  Look at it this way: the server has the power to help make your experience great, or to f*ck it to kingdom come.  Don’t piss off the person or people responsible for that.  Because you just might avoid something nasty in your dinner.

And on that note, it’s been real!

 

DA – Don’t Ask!

Guess who is back after a sabbatical that lasted a couple of months?  That would be me!  Hello world!

World – Who are you?

Me – I’m a person who just accomplished something.

World – Congratulations.  Hey, knock, knock.

Me – Who’s there?

World – Life.

Me – I walked into that one.

Yep, I completed my externship and passed my radiology exam.  I am a full fledged dental assistant and working for my extern site.  I work out of three dental offices with three different doctors.  I really like two of them, but the third still needs to grow on me.  I’m getting paid what I want to get paid, and working forty hours a week (maybe a little more [over time!]).  I still work at the restaurant, so that’s extra money for me.

I asked one of my fellow dental assistants at the one office today if she could consider being my roommate and moving out with me next year.  She said she would.  So, things are rolling in the right direction (I hope) for me right now.  Wish me luck!  Life always manages to find a way to kick people in the balls.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Prairie Dog Poppers

I know what you’re thinking.  You’re looking at the picture and the title and wondering, “What could this be about?”  Well, I can tell you it’s about funny little observations I’ve made while being a hostess, and most people do it.

Now, everyone hates to hear that there is a wait of any kind for a table.  They want to sit down right then and there and order their food and drink and eat immediately.  Nice, right?  Well, on Fridays and Saturdays at most establishments, you have to wait a few minutes.  Sometimes longer.  Don’t get all pissy about it.  Accept it as a fact of reality and life and you’ll find inner peace.  I’m kidding… but, seriously, shut up instead of winging about waiting.

Anyway, at my restaurant when I tell people to wait, I always scope the joint and see them looking around, as if them staring at desirable tables will somehow make them get up faster.  Hate to break it to you, but that isn’t going to happen.  We have a couch before our fireplace, and frequently I tell people to sit there while they wait to get them out of my hair.  A few minutes later, as I glance around, I’ll see somebody stand up and look around and maybe even point to a table.  You do realize that people can see you, right?  You’re not suddenly gifted with invisibility.  Reminds of the Cone of Silence from Get Smart.  We all know how that turned out.  They look silly and tables that are already seated and eating or talking, give them looks.  They pop up like prairie dogs and I have to chuckle.  I gave you a wait that was ex amount of time long.  And you’re already impatient five minutes in?  Gah!  The prairie dogs are on the loose!

In other words, when a hostess gives you a wait time and you sit down, don’t pop back up again to check on a table.  People will be judging you.

And on that note, it’s been real!

My Busy Just Got Busier

I find myself apologizing again to my readers for not writing.  First, I accidentally posted something on Sunday when I meant to schedule it for Monday.  Oops, my bad!  Then, Monday was school and then I went in early to the office.  We were busy from the moment I got there to the moment we closed.  The same thing basically happened on Tuesday as well.  It was a little bit crazier though.  We saw a patient from hygiene, and that put us behind by a little, then two patients later was about 25 minutes late and we still saw him (which pissed me off), and then we were behind the rest of the night.

This morning, class was off the walls as people talked about random sh*t, my teacher disappearing when being summoned by my other teacher, and an awards ceremony (that always annoys me and is a waste of time).  Needless to say, not a lot of stuff got done, and now I have a mere two hours to do stuff before I have to go to work at the restaurant this evening.  Ugh!  Too much!  It’s too much!  [Please come back later ——– Mental breakdown imminent ——– Holding ——–]

And on that note, it’s been real!

Don’t Throw the Gauntlet… Smack Em’ with It

So… some pretty stupid people crossed my path over the holidays and at school when I returned.  As per usual, it was equal parts amusing and annoying.  The Wednesday before Christmas wasn’t atrocious, but Friday and Saturday were a little crazy.  There seemed to be quite a few large, walk-in parties.  Nobody could be bothered to pick up the phone and check to see if we had room.

Oh, well!  I went on a wait, which I always start out a little high on just so I can gauge how long people will stay and camp out.  And of course, everybody and their mother (literally) has a problem with that.  It was getting late and I saw many parties walk in and ask for larger tables, or for tables to be pushed together in order to accommodate them.  Sometimes I could do that if the tables were in the same section, but I hated confusing the servers if the tables weren’t together.  Anyway, I filled up and went on my wait.  Close to 8:00 (and I was still buys), four people walked in: a middle-aged woman, two younger girls, and a younger man.  They asked me for a table and I told them what the wait was.  The middle-aged woman started giving me reasons why they needed a table… something about baking all day and being hungry, yada, yada, yada.  I repeated what the wait was.

Then, one of the girls asked, “What about that table next to you?”  This little table can be a part of my table where I work, but by itself, it’s a little two top.

“That’s a two top,” I said, stating the obvious.  The middle-aged woman then turned her beady eyes on my table.

“Can’t we join that and sit there?  I mean… do you need it?”  I looked down at my little, itty, bitty work station, which was covered in menus, special sheets, seating chart, and wait list.  It was literally covered in things and she wanted me to remove and find a magical place to put my stuff.  I glanced up at her, my face

Writer For Hire

So, I mentioned that I was hoping to start making some money off my writing this year as one of my resolutions.  Somebody commented on one of my posts in December stating I should look into that.  So, I looked around a little and found a site called PayPerPost.  I can put some of my previous work out there and pitch myself whenever I want work.  Well, I won’t know if I don’t try.

I hope to write as much as I possibly can within reason.  I do still have to go to school and work my other two jobs, but I will do my best to charge into the breach, all guns blazing.  I will study as hard as a can, work as diligently as I can, and write as often as I can.  Of course, I’m only human, so I will have to pace myself.

Wow!  Loki at me!  Only three days into the new year, and I already have evil plans made…

And on that note, it’s been real!

The Six Hostess Perceptions

Now everyone has an opinion about hostesses, and these opinions should come from observations they’ve made for a number of different reasons.

  1. They’re experience with hostesses in the past at different restaurants.
  2. Whether they’ve worked in a restaurant before as a hostess or just a server.
  3. Whether they’re nice people, or just *ssholes.

With those reasons in mind, let’s dissect the six perceptions about hostesses.

  1. What society thinks I do: the picture shows a girl who looks like she works for Hooters or a club that has a pool.  Or a strip club (probably the latter).  No decent hostess would wear something like that, so this particular perception is a tad confusing.  Most restaurants all have a dress code that requires a hostess to wear something that covers the shoulders, midriff, and does not reveal too much decollete.  Honestly, not much to say on that one.
  2. What my parents think I do: that picture reveals a nicely dressed girl with menus.  That is kind of accurate.  She looks professional, and is holding menus like a shield in front of her.  When you’re dealing with a confrontational customer, those are like a barrier between yourself and the jagoff.  If the restaurant is nice and upscale, the hostess would look like that, instead of sorry dump and dressed in jeans.  But, as the first person the customer sees, it is her job to look professional.
  3. What customers think I do: it shoes a pictures of some guy double flipping somebody off.  Now, that one depends on who you are.  If you come off as demanding and a bastard or a b*tch, then yes the hostess will do that the moment your back is turned.  There have been many people that I basically do it to once I’m done dealing with them.  Why?  Because it’s easier for me to do that behind your back than say it to your face.  And I’m less likely to get fired.
  4. What my coworkers think I do: this one kind of made me smile.  It shows somebody laying down on a recliner, just chilling.  Okay, let me set the record straight: some restaurants (most) do not have a place for their hostess to sit.  She or he has to stand for the entirety of their shift.  That’s not moving around as much as a server, but your feet and your lower back definitely don’t like it.  So, we definitely don’t sit around.  A good hostess never sits around.
  5. What I think I do: is the closest to the truth than any other picture shown.  In a way, we do hold back the mindless rabble.  We try to make sure that everything is done in a systematic and organized fashion, so that the servers don’t want to commit suicide.  We are the first defense against the zombies that come in demanding brains- I mean!  Food!  I just wish I could have a gun that way if somebody didn’t want to sit where I wanted to put them, I could just make them.
  6. What I actually do: you would not believe how many times people ask you where the bathroom is, you tell them, and they still go to the wrong place.  It’s amusing to watch.  They’ll walk into our lounge, which is full of people, and walk out a second later like a dog with their tails between their legs.  It is said that any place that actually has a sign to indicate where a restroom is, it makes the place seem less ‘classy’.  That’s what I heard.  But, if having the sign up saves me the hassle of constantly telling people where the bathroom is, I’ll take some points off in our ‘classy’ department.

And there you have it!  Those are the six perceptions of hostesses.  For those of you out there who have worked in a restaurant before, are these perceptions accurate?  And for those of you who haven’t worked in a restaurant, pay attention the next time you go to one.  It could be the factor that saves you from getting a stigma.

And on that note, it’s been real!

I’m Exhausted!

I don’t know what it’s been about writing and work and school and life lately.  I feel tired and rushed.  The answer might have something to do with the Christmas (shopping) season arriving, but I think it is also partly because of my hap-hazard existence right now.  I feel so tired very early in the evening and I want to cry at times during the day.  And it’s not even because something’s annoying me.  I’m just… I don’t know!

Although, my eye whatever came back and the eye doctor said it’s not pink eye.  I have bumps under my eyelids from some kind of allergic reaction and that’s what causing my eyes to have that ‘pink eye’ like symptoms.  Am I allergic to waking up?  I could believe that.

My work is tiring me out because the receptionists are quitting and the insurance and billing coordinator is quitting, and they asked me to cover the front desk in the evening, instead of me working in the back with my doctor.  Which pissed me off, but I agreed only until the end of December.  I sent a higher up an email informing them of this fact.  We’ll see if she is ‘offended’ by my standing up for myself, and we’ll see if this gets me in trouble.

I think that’s all coming together to make me more tired, an angry, and just… over it.  What can I do to help myself?

And on that note, it’s been real!