Clubbing: You Only Live Once

I am not a party animal.  Little known fact for today.  I have never snuck out to a club, was never involved in high school parties (I was home schooled), and no underage drinking or drugs took place.  I was dedicated to graduating high school so I could do whatever I wanted after the fact.  Now, I am going back to school for dental assistant, but I feel I have not experienced most of what young adults experience even before they go to college.

I get asked all the time if I want to go to a strip club, or anything like that after work.  My usual response is, “No.”  However, a week or so ago, my one coworker asked if I wanted to go to a club in the city with her.  I told her I would not be opposed to a regular club.  I could wear a cute mini skirt or little dress and just watch.  I would drink, chat, and possibly dance, but I think the main reason I want to go to a club would be to observe humanity.  As a writer, I like to see people in their natural settings and see how they react to certain stimuli.  Not to say that I won’t participate at all.  Give me a few drinks, and I will talk your ears off.

Yeah, me going to a night club or a casino would not be for me to experience it from an individual standpoint.  I would have to experience it from a community standpoint; what are other people thinking and feeling around me?  I know that most people want to be participators in life instead of just being observers; but… I don’t know if I’m personally ready to participate in life.  Not yet, at any rate.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Lazy Day

So, I a happy person today because I had yesterday off, and today off, and tomorrow off, and Thursday off, and Friday off.  I’m also off from my restaurant job on Friday night and Saturday night.  I’m as free as a little bird, and I’m so happy!  I can catch up this and my novel writing.  I can also finish watching “The Defenders” on Netflix.

To the world, I will be doing nothing.  To me, I will be doing everything important.  It will be nice to wake up when I want to, and not when the alarm decides to buzz.  I answer to myself for the rest of the week, and it will be nice.  I hope that everyone else also has a good week, whether they’re working or not.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Fraud: It’s Terrifyingly Real

Alright, this particular post is not going to be a ‘poking fun at people’ or an ‘advice list’.  This is a story that I wish hadn’t happened to me.

On Friday last week, after I was done having fun at my soiree for work, and had said goodbye to my coworkers, I was driving home to prepare to visit my sister’s apartment.  As I was driving, my phone rang and I answered it.  It was a recording saying that the IRS had found a miscalculation on my taxes, and an arrest warrant was pending for me.  To say I was a little freaked, would be an understatement.  I got home, called the number, and asked what the f*ck was going on.  I spoke to an Indian man, who threatened me if I told anyone what was going on, and if I hung up the phone.

I was afraid for myself and my family.  They told me that I owed them over $2,000 and that I had to pay everything right then and there.  I had never heard of this type of fraud before, and I was able to persuade them that if they called me back in an hour, I would have the money.  In that space of time, I told my parents and my elder sister.  They said it was a scam and to tell them to go screw themselves.  My younger sister and I drove to our elder sister’s apartment, and during the drive, the scammers tried to call me over ten times.  At one point, my sister told me to answer the phone.  I did, and she said, “Go f*ck yourself!”  I hung up a split second later.  They tried again, and I ignored it.

When we arrived at my sister’s, they tried again, and I ignored it again and again.  Finally, my older sister took my phone, answered, and said a whole slew of things that I will not go into detail on.  They tried calling me again on Saturday, but I ignored it.  I called my bank, put a few of my cards on fraud watch, cancelled my current debit card and ordered a new one, and put a complaint on FTC Complaint Assistant.

I feel better now that I’m pretty sure my money is safe, but the feeling I was experiencing on Friday, was fear.  These people… these animals, get something from terrorizing innocents.  They take their money and possibly, ruin their lives.  I’m not a rich person.  I don’t have money to throw around.  If they had succeeded, there was a good chance I never would have recovered.  I was afraid that day.  I never want to experience fear like that again.  People like them deserve to be arrested and put away for good.  Or worse.  I’m not a forgiving person.  It’s not in my nature.  And when people make me feel fear, I feel weak.  I don’t like feeling weak.

Just know that if you get a call like that, and somebody threatens you and tries to take what’s yours, stand up for yourself.  Make them feel fear.  Let the inner beast out and you will not only save your assets and future, you will also save your pride.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Last Day! Whoo Hoo!

This one is going to be quick because… today is my last day!

The schedule is short because I only have one doctor, and my coworkers want to take me out for a parting drink after work.  I am feeling a little sad to say goodbye to people who have been very supportive of me the last three years.  With a few exceptions, I’ve liked working with them, and will be upset that I won’t be working with them like I used to.

I cleaned up my desk area yesterday.  It was a smidge depressing, but mostly fun.  I like organizing and it was good to see certain cluttered areas get de-cluttered.  Another thing to pick my spirits up, what girl can say no to a drink with some funny ladies?

And on that note, it’s been real!

Philosophy of Phrases

The power of words is not to be underestimated.  I work with words, and I have coined many phrases that my coworkers now associate with me.  I have a reason for why I say them, and I’m pretty sure if I look back through my memory, I could find when I quoted them.

Phrase #1: I hate humanity – now, when I say that, I don’t hate all humanity.  When I say that, I only apply it to stupid people.  Regretfully, it seems to apply to the majority of people.

Phrase #2: Never underestimate the stupidity of humanity – this phrase spouted out of my mouth probably from working in the restaurant.  I always tell my coworkers that when they are baffled by stupid people.  It fits!  It’s poetic almost.  You should use it sometime when somebody asks you why are people so dumb.

Phrase #3: Ah, mortals! – I just said that because I like to pretend I’m Loki, and he obviously looks down on mortals.  Me?  I look down on stupid people.

Now I know this probably makes me look like I hate people, but I don’t.  I’m fine with humanity, it’s people I can’t stand ~ Linus Van Pelt.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Stupid Questions: Special Edition

Okay, remember how your teacher always says, “There’s never such a thing as a stupid question”?  Well… She was lying.  She just said that to spare your feelings.  Stupid questions are normally asked by stupid people.  I am discounting children because they are children, and still have much to learn.  But, we should be surprised by the enormous amount of stupid questions that are asked by adults.  Sadly, we aren’t.

At my doctor’s office, stupid questions from grown ups are exorbitant.  Almost to the point of idiocy.  Oh, wait… it’s already there.  Our office is very busy, and I very, very, VERY rarely have room in my schedule for a walk-in.  But, I get them often.  Sometimes they are new patients, who have an ’emergency’, and need to be seen immediately.  Please understand that doctors are very busy people and as I mentioned above, very infrequently do they have time to deal with walk-in Schmoes.  Now, maybe that’s because I’m at the front and I rule my land with an iron fist.  Apparently, a few years before I came along, our doctors would see the off-the-street nimrod, and throw off their schedules for the rest of the day.  Look at it this way: if they were meant to see every man who happened by, then schedules would be irrelevant.

I love when I’m on the phone, and I get people saying, “I just need the doctor to check my bleeding gums.  I don’t need an appointment for that, do I?”

I blink a couple of times, restart my brain, and refrain from saying, “On what planet is that okay?!”  One day, a patient’s mother was complaining for her child, and said she needed an appointment as early in the morning as possible.  I said, “Sorry ma’am, but the earliest I have is (such and such a time) with (Dr. Lecter).”

“Oh, that’s not early enough.”

“Well, that’s the only one I’ve got.”

“Can’t the doctor come in early?”  NO!  No, no… no… and… NO!  The doctors come in according to the hours they’ve set for themselves, not whenever you ring your little bell, Queen Victoria!  One of the straws that broke the camel’s back, was a patient who cancelled her appointment, and wanted to reschedule.  These people are always the worst, because they cancel last minute, then they want the unattainable slots: early morning, or late evening.  She cancelled her appointment, and I honestly told her that availability for an evening appointment was slim to none, and she was looking at rescheduling her appointment in another six months.

“Well, can you move somebody else and put me there?”  Are you retarded?!  Were you born with a silver spoon in your mouth as well as your *ss?!  I firmly told her that I could not do that.  “Oh, well somebody did it for me once.”

“Well, I can’t.”  She hung up in a huff, but I did not let her intimidate me.  I get asked stupid questions at least a couple of times a week, and they annoy and amuse me in equal parts.  That’s how close I am to either laughing or crying.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Fingers Flying

Alright, so my day off yesterday was pretty productive as I had hoped.  My car went in as I said it would and they did everything up to and including a complimentary car wash.  Yay!  As for myself, while I waited for the call to say they were done, I wrote.  I alternated between surfing on my Netflix queue and listening to music as my fingers did their beautiful dance across my keyboard.  I had been kind of/sort of hung up on a part, but yesterday was the day I needed to get over the hang up.

The writing is a little bit easier right now.  I know it will be a smidge harder when I arrive at the part in the book that has the most documentation in history.  Other than that, everything is progressing nicely.  I have two main characters, both boys (soon to be men).  They stand on opposite sides when it comes to religion and that is where the conflict will come from.  I haven’t decided if I want them to meet each other, or if they will spend the entire book separated, only to be drawn together by the tragedy that is the historical centerpiece of the novel.

Another thing I’m not sure of is if I want romance involved overly much.  A coworker of mine, who knows I’m writing this, asked if one or both of them would have women in their lives.  I’m not sure because I don’t want to turn this into a romance novel.  It isn’t.  The reason I’m writing this book is to draw people’s attention to a moment in history that is and has been brushed over, but one that was filled with great loss.  It is supposed to be a tale about sacrifice, on personal levels, and on a grander scale.  I don’t think I want romance to play a major role in that, because I think it would detract from the larger message.  And that message will unfold with both of the characters facing their hardships accordingly.  Otherwise, I hope to continue with my writing and see these characters develop, on the page, and in my heart.

And on that note, it’s been real!

A Day Off… What?!

So, today is a happy day because I don’t have to go to work.  Wait… what?!  That’s right.  I got the day off!  The reason for the day off is because my car, Leatrice (Nordic for ‘voyager’), has to go in and have a new set of keys calibrated with the engine, and I want them to check my stupid tire pressure light(!).  This appointment had been made two months ago when my leave was supposed to have been honored, but wound up being turned down.

I put in for this over the weekend and in the notes for the request, I said, “Taking car in for pre-scheduled appt.”  I was very clear that my car needed to be in the shop today for over an hour, and I wasn’t going to be chauffeured by anyone.  Thankfully, my manager gave me the bone and let me have the day off.  Yay!

Now, I’m going to putz around all day long!  Just kidding!  I have writing to do since I have so much time; my hands are covered in papercuts, so that’s a sign from the universe that I need a manicure; and just sleeping in an extra hour/hour and a half would be marvelous!  Plus, I need to catch up on my Youtube videos.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Bleepity, Bleep, Bleep: Curse Words for Everything

This is something fun that I found at least two years ago.  The Christian comedian, Tim Hawkins, did a skit where he gave Christians cusswords they can use without endangering themselves, yada, yada, yada.  I watched the video and legitimately laughed my head off.  Some of them were actually very close to the curse words they were replacing.  After the fact, I unconsciously came up with words of my own that I inserted at appropriate times.

Author’s List of Non-Violent Expletives for Every Occasion:

  • Frickety mackintosh!
  • Schnitzel!
  • Juniper!
  • Frick, Frickety, Frick, Frick!
  • Balls! (debatable, but definitely better than the alternative)
  • Bushel Britches!
  • Suckerpunch!
  • Pond Sucker!
  • Farts!

And there you have it!  Those are my Non-Violent Expletives for Every Occasion!  Whip em’ out whenever you really want to say something, but can’t say that one thing.  Hopefully, it will help alleviate the tension that always comes when people can’t properly express themselves through dirty words.

And on that note, it’s been real!

PTSD – Post Traumatic Sunday Disorder

I think everyone can say that Saturday and Sunday are the fastest days of the week.  Hands down.  Why?  Because are normally the days when most people actually have the choice to do absolutely nothing at all!  I write mostly.  On Saturday, I did cave and go get a pedicure, which was SO relaxing, and a frappe from Panera.  It was wonderful!  I went to work that night, but it wasn’t busy at all, so I got to go home after an hour of being there.  I came home and spent the evening with my younger sister doing absolutely nothing.  It was nice.

Sunday (for me) always has an air of depression about it.  Because I know I have to go back to work the next morning, so I have squeeze everything I want to do (or not, as the case may be) into this one day.  However, Sunday morning soon gives way to Sunday afternoon.  And on Sunday afternoons, I get dragged away from my writing to assist with dinner.  Now, I like to eat and I like food.  Probably wouldn’t be able to tell if you saw me though, because to most people, I look like a recovering anorexic.  But, I’ve made salads for my family so many times that I honestly can’t stand the thought of making another salad.  I’ve sliced through my nails and had to endure the smell of onions, all to give my dad his salad.  I’ve started digging my heels in when it comes to salads to the point where my mom has actually stopped asking me if I can make them.  Yay!  My evil plan worked!

So… after I’ve basically done everything but the meat, it’s time to eat.  Once eating is done, guess who’s got the kitchen?  Trick question.  After the kitchen is done, it’s time for bed and the evening is done and gone.  That is why I have diagnosed myself with PTSD: Post Traumatic Sunday Disorder.  I also have Post Traumatic Salad Disorder, and another kind, but that will be a story for another day.  So, last night was pretty much the same thing that I explained above.  Except… I DIDN’T HAVE TO MAKE THE SALAD!!!  😀

And on that note, it’s been real!