Stupid Questions: Special Edition

Okay, remember how your teacher always says, “There’s never such a thing as a stupid question”?  Well… She was lying.  She just said that to spare your feelings.  Stupid questions are normally asked by stupid people.  I am discounting children because they are children, and still have much to learn.  But, we should be surprised by the enormous amount of stupid questions that are asked by adults.  Sadly, we aren’t.

At my doctor’s office, stupid questions from grown ups are exorbitant.  Almost to the point of idiocy.  Oh, wait… it’s already there.  Our office is very busy, and I very, very, VERY rarely have room in my schedule for a walk-in.  But, I get them often.  Sometimes they are new patients, who have an ’emergency’, and need to be seen immediately.  Please understand that doctors are very busy people and as I mentioned above, very infrequently do they have time to deal with walk-in Schmoes.  Now, maybe that’s because I’m at the front and I rule my land with an iron fist.  Apparently, a few years before I came along, our doctors would see the off-the-street nimrod, and throw off their schedules for the rest of the day.  Look at it this way: if they were meant to see every man who happened by, then schedules would be irrelevant.

I love when I’m on the phone, and I get people saying, “I just need the doctor to check my bleeding gums.  I don’t need an appointment for that, do I?”

I blink a couple of times, restart my brain, and refrain from saying, “On what planet is that okay?!”  One day, a patient’s mother was complaining for her child, and said she needed an appointment as early in the morning as possible.  I said, “Sorry ma’am, but the earliest I have is (such and such a time) with (Dr. Lecter).”

“Oh, that’s not early enough.”

“Well, that’s the only one I’ve got.”

“Can’t the doctor come in early?”  NO!  No, no… no… and… NO!  The doctors come in according to the hours they’ve set for themselves, not whenever you ring your little bell, Queen Victoria!  One of the straws that broke the camel’s back, was a patient who cancelled her appointment, and wanted to reschedule.  These people are always the worst, because they cancel last minute, then they want the unattainable slots: early morning, or late evening.  She cancelled her appointment, and I honestly told her that availability for an evening appointment was slim to none, and she was looking at rescheduling her appointment in another six months.

“Well, can you move somebody else and put me there?”  Are you retarded?!  Were you born with a silver spoon in your mouth as well as your *ss?!  I firmly told her that I could not do that.  “Oh, well somebody did it for me once.”

“Well, I can’t.”  She hung up in a huff, but I did not let her intimidate me.  I get asked stupid questions at least a couple of times a week, and they annoy and amuse me in equal parts.  That’s how close I am to either laughing or crying.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Fingers Flying

Alright, so my day off yesterday was pretty productive as I had hoped.  My car went in as I said it would and they did everything up to and including a complimentary car wash.  Yay!  As for myself, while I waited for the call to say they were done, I wrote.  I alternated between surfing on my Netflix queue and listening to music as my fingers did their beautiful dance across my keyboard.  I had been kind of/sort of hung up on a part, but yesterday was the day I needed to get over the hang up.

The writing is a little bit easier right now.  I know it will be a smidge harder when I arrive at the part in the book that has the most documentation in history.  Other than that, everything is progressing nicely.  I have two main characters, both boys (soon to be men).  They stand on opposite sides when it comes to religion and that is where the conflict will come from.  I haven’t decided if I want them to meet each other, or if they will spend the entire book separated, only to be drawn together by the tragedy that is the historical centerpiece of the novel.

Another thing I’m not sure of is if I want romance involved overly much.  A coworker of mine, who knows I’m writing this, asked if one or both of them would have women in their lives.  I’m not sure because I don’t want to turn this into a romance novel.  It isn’t.  The reason I’m writing this book is to draw people’s attention to a moment in history that is and has been brushed over, but one that was filled with great loss.  It is supposed to be a tale about sacrifice, on personal levels, and on a grander scale.  I don’t think I want romance to play a major role in that, because I think it would detract from the larger message.  And that message will unfold with both of the characters facing their hardships accordingly.  Otherwise, I hope to continue with my writing and see these characters develop, on the page, and in my heart.

And on that note, it’s been real!

A Day Off… What?!

So, today is a happy day because I don’t have to go to work.  Wait… what?!  That’s right.  I got the day off!  The reason for the day off is because my car, Leatrice (Nordic for ‘voyager’), has to go in and have a new set of keys calibrated with the engine, and I want them to check my stupid tire pressure light(!).  This appointment had been made two months ago when my leave was supposed to have been honored, but wound up being turned down.

I put in for this over the weekend and in the notes for the request, I said, “Taking car in for pre-scheduled appt.”  I was very clear that my car needed to be in the shop today for over an hour, and I wasn’t going to be chauffeured by anyone.  Thankfully, my manager gave me the bone and let me have the day off.  Yay!

Now, I’m going to putz around all day long!  Just kidding!  I have writing to do since I have so much time; my hands are covered in papercuts, so that’s a sign from the universe that I need a manicure; and just sleeping in an extra hour/hour and a half would be marvelous!  Plus, I need to catch up on my Youtube videos.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Bleepity, Bleep, Bleep: Curse Words for Everything

This is something fun that I found at least two years ago.  The Christian comedian, Tim Hawkins, did a skit where he gave Christians cusswords they can use without endangering themselves, yada, yada, yada.  I watched the video and legitimately laughed my head off.  Some of them were actually very close to the curse words they were replacing.  After the fact, I unconsciously came up with words of my own that I inserted at appropriate times.

Author’s List of Non-Violent Expletives for Every Occasion:

  • Frickety mackintosh!
  • Schnitzel!
  • Juniper!
  • Frick, Frickety, Frick, Frick!
  • Balls! (debatable, but definitely better than the alternative)
  • Bushel Britches!
  • Suckerpunch!
  • Pond Sucker!
  • Farts!

And there you have it!  Those are my Non-Violent Expletives for Every Occasion!  Whip em’ out whenever you really want to say something, but can’t say that one thing.  Hopefully, it will help alleviate the tension that always comes when people can’t properly express themselves through dirty words.

And on that note, it’s been real!

PTSD – Post Traumatic Sunday Disorder

I think everyone can say that Saturday and Sunday are the fastest days of the week.  Hands down.  Why?  Because are normally the days when most people actually have the choice to do absolutely nothing at all!  I write mostly.  On Saturday, I did cave and go get a pedicure, which was SO relaxing, and a frappe from Panera.  It was wonderful!  I went to work that night, but it wasn’t busy at all, so I got to go home after an hour of being there.  I came home and spent the evening with my younger sister doing absolutely nothing.  It was nice.

Sunday (for me) always has an air of depression about it.  Because I know I have to go back to work the next morning, so I have squeeze everything I want to do (or not, as the case may be) into this one day.  However, Sunday morning soon gives way to Sunday afternoon.  And on Sunday afternoons, I get dragged away from my writing to assist with dinner.  Now, I like to eat and I like food.  Probably wouldn’t be able to tell if you saw me though, because to most people, I look like a recovering anorexic.  But, I’ve made salads for my family so many times that I honestly can’t stand the thought of making another salad.  I’ve sliced through my nails and had to endure the smell of onions, all to give my dad his salad.  I’ve started digging my heels in when it comes to salads to the point where my mom has actually stopped asking me if I can make them.  Yay!  My evil plan worked!

So… after I’ve basically done everything but the meat, it’s time to eat.  Once eating is done, guess who’s got the kitchen?  Trick question.  After the kitchen is done, it’s time for bed and the evening is done and gone.  That is why I have diagnosed myself with PTSD: Post Traumatic Sunday Disorder.  I also have Post Traumatic Salad Disorder, and another kind, but that will be a story for another day.  So, last night was pretty much the same thing that I explained above.  Except… I DIDN’T HAVE TO MAKE THE SALAD!!!  😀

And on that note, it’s been real!

Therapy Thursday

Thursdays have become the day where I work for several hours, then leave to go to therapy.  I’m not ashamed to admit that I go to therapy.  I’ve been going to therapy since this year started and it’s been very helpful for me on a personal level.  Talking to somebody who is not biased and has to listen is a liberating feeling.  I talk to my siblings every once in a while and it is good.  It’s always good to talk to one’s siblings, if you have any.  I have five, but sometimes, you need to talk to somebody who doesn’t know you as well as they do.  Who doesn’t know all your secrets.  I can tell her my secrets and tell her my reasoning behind every secret, and everything else I’ve done and thought.

She’s such a nice woman and she’s been so kind to me.  During our short time together, she has pointed out changes in me that I knew had not been there before.  She has seen me grow in such a short span of time; since January.  She has seen me through many ups and downs and she has been a rock I can lean on.

I am so grateful for my therapist.  I can thank my brother for introducing her to me.  My mental state has improved greatly since I started and I would only leave her because my health insurance ended.  I will be sad when I do leave her.  She has become a friend to me and I would not have improved if I hadn’t had a person telling me to improve without yelling at me or being ultra critical.  What a relief!

And on that note, it’s been real!

The Game of People

Alright, if the title is anything to go by, yes, I watch Game of Thrones.  Me… and the rest of the world.  Certain aspects of the characters intrigue me, and I’ve noticed that I behave similarly, depending on the situation at hand.  Now, one thing you, the reader, must remember is my golden rule: I cannot stand stupid people.  I hate dealing with stupid people at my doctor’s office and at the restaurant.  These are the type of people who put square pegs into round holes, and get mad at me when they don’t fit.  It’s equal parts funny and infuriating.

At the dentist, people miss appointments pretty much every day.  Hey!  Shit happens!  I understand.  What I don’t understand is when they don’t call and tell me that they aren’t coming, and then they get mad when I charge them according to our office policy.

“But I didn’t get a reminder call from you!”

“Ma’am/sir, I called you myself, twice.”

-cue the crickets-

“But I didn’t get a reminder call!”

Square peg… round hole.  I’m laughing on the inside.

At the restaurant, it is slightly different.  I once had a couple walk in and the young lady said, “Table for two, but we’ll be having two more.”

“So you’re a table of four.”

A pause so long, you could have walked the length of London Bridge.

“Yeah.”

Okay, step back, child, before you hurt yourself.

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Pretty much that picture in a nutshell.  If you’ve watched Game of Thrones, which character does that remind you of more…?

And on that note, it’s been real!