Stupidity Abounds

This past weekend while at the restaurant, I was once more amused by the stupidity of humanity as a whole.  From where I am in the restaurant, I can see quite a bit of what goes on, so I can watch people doing all kinds of weird things.  That, and I can exchange looks with my fellow coworkers as they wait for their drinks at the end of the bar.  As I believe I have mentioned in the past, we found a place to put the sign so people can see it when they come in.  When I arrive, I turn it from ‘Please seat yourself’ to ‘Please wait to be seated’.  It’s right there and the only way you can miss it is if you failed to pass elementary reading.

This weekend, I had several people come in, look around, see me, and ask, “Can we sit anywhere?” or “Can we seat ourselves?”  I don’t know… what does the sign say?  It says ‘Please wait to be seated’.  Some people are good, and they wait by my little area while I clean tables.  Other people are bad, and they just wander around and plop down wherever they feel like.  I love it when people ask me if they can sit at a table that is currently dirty.

I always say, “Give me a second and I’ll clean it up.”  I go to clear it and when I get back to actually clean it, they’re already sitting there in the company of crumbs and spills.  I almost wanted to walk away and let them sit there in the mess.  I said clearly and anybody with two brain cells between their ears would understand that I wanted them to wait until the table was ready.  Another funny thing that happened was I was cleaning up and two people walked in.  I stopped what I was doing and walked over.  “Can I help you?” I asked and they walked right by me.  I muttered to myself and watched them go off into our little lounge area.  I finished with my table and sat back up at my post, not bothering to bring them menus or inform the server.  I would always claim ignorance if they complained.  ‘Oh, but, they didn’t see me.’  The server came up a minute later to get menus.

She said, “Two people sat in my side of the lounge.”

I widened my eyes, a smirk played on my lips, and I said in a mocking voice, “Really?!”  The server laughed.  She knew I wasn’t directing that at her; I was directing that at them.  I love it when people walk over to a place, and then they happen to see me.

One of them will walk over and say, “Oh… were we supposed to wait for you?”

Let me think… kind of, yeah.  The sign is a dead giveaway, but apparently, you’re a few marshmellows short of a s’more.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Author: aubreycass

I am an imaginative realist. Those seem the best words to describe myself. I look at the world through a microscope and enjoy laughing while doing so. The stupidest things can both annoy and amuse you.

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