Sarcasm: Medicine for Stupid People

Since I became a teenager, and started to mature, my little girl tendencies began to fade into a slightly jaded, sarcastic persona.  The jaded aspect comes from certain events in my childhood and preteen years.  When my family used to go to a Latin mass, my older sister and I were friends with two other sisters from another family.  We had been ‘friends’ for a couple of years, when all of a sudden, both girls started ignoring us.  I later found out it was because our parents and their parents had a disagreement and they told their daughters not to associate with us anymore.  I was only a little girl, and I didn’t understand.  It hurt and made me a little bitter.  I became friends with another girl a few years later and one day, saw my old ‘friend’ trying to cut in on our conversation on the steps of the church after mass on Sunday.  I turned my back and got in between her and my new friend.  Without saying anything, I made my case very clear: she was not welcome.

We’ve gone to the same birthday parties over the years, and her and her younger sister have been invited.  When we play games (and I win), the younger one always challenges my win.  Once when she was really getting on my nerves, I said, “I would say something mean, but I’m afraid I’ll have to explain myself.”  That promptly shut her up and sent her scurrying back to her rat hole.

There was also another family at that church that didn’t like us.  The reason?  My sisters and I are prettier than them.  Not that hard to do when they all look like the Cabbage Patch babies grown up.  Needless to say, being in the same choir with them was an interesting experience.  They ignored us and we ignored them.  Sometimes, the eldest would do something to us, try to order us around.  My older sister kind of let her do it, but I wouldn’t.  Once, when we were at a party to say goodbye to our old choir director, and were heading up some stairs to a open second floor, she poked me between the ribs with her nail.  I stopped and took a step back, placing all my weight on her foot.  I turned and said, “Oh, were you there?  I hadn’t noticed.”  She left me alone after that.  She did something stupid that wouldn’t have gotten her anywhere.  But, I didn’t say she was smart.

Now, as I have said in the past, you play nice with me, I will play nice with you.  If I really like you, I will be your friend.  Cross me, and I will bury you.

And on that note, it’s been real!

 

Author: aubreycass

I am an imaginative realist. Those seem the best words to describe myself. I look at the world through a microscope and enjoy laughing while doing so. The stupidest things can both annoy and amuse you.

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