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Hello World! Let’s Get Real

Greetings to my fellow carbon based life forms!

Greetings to my fellow carbon based life forms!  Day going good so far?  If it isn’t, look at it this way: it’s half way done.  Some days are always too short, never enough time to ‘do all the nothing’ you want to.  That’s how I feel every day.

I work six days a week, dealing with what I like to call ‘the dregs of humanity’.  Now, it’s not always bad.  I work basically in customer service in two jobs.  There are good people and there are bad people.  But it’s always the bad experiences that stick in our memory, like gum in our hair.  I don’t like to be unhappy; I’m not even an unhappy person naturally.  Just sometimes, life gives you lemons to make lemonade, and right now, I’ve got a couple of gallons to go around.

Maybe, I should take a page out of Calvin’s book (Calvin & Hobbes): “When life gives you lemons, you sling ’em back and add a few of your own.”  I am trying to do that.  I’ll get into details on that score some other time.

But, who am I?  Maybe the best way to describe myself is to use certain characters from pop culture.  I have the wicked snark of Loki; the desire for vengeance like Cersei (when I’m thoroughly roused); 20170723_130215and the loyalty of Sam Gamgee.  Got a picture?  Oh, wait… that’s the picture.  Shows my parents have a sense of humor.  In other words: you treat me right and are a friend to me, I’ll be a friend to you.  Mess with me, and you’re in a world of hurt!

So, how’s your day looking now?  Still ‘meh’?  Well, hopefully you’re a ‘glass half full’ type of person.  I’m more a ‘glass is always occupied’ type person.  It’s either half empty, or half full.

And on that note, it’s been real!

 

The Time Machine – Hollywood vs. Wells

Does anyone remember H. G. Wells science fiction novel, The Time Machine?  Does anyone remember the 1960 movie version, as well as the 2002 adaptation?  I guess only if you’re cultured like myself.  Ha!  Not really.  The movies did what they thought they could to bring one of the first attempts at science fiction to life and yet still fell short of the mark the writer had set.  Now, let me explain why.

H. G. Wells (along with Jules Verne) was the first to create the concept of ‘science fiction’.  That term is loosely used today (because there’s so much of it) but back in their time during the late 1890’s, it was an idea that was brand new.  Authors wrote books about practical science, history, and fiction; stories based in more or less a semblance of reality.  So, the thought of a world in the future was not something normal to them.  Thanks to Wells, we now have the ‘time machine’.  Before his book, the phrase to describe moving through time had not been invented, much less the apparatus to carry it out.

The book itself is told from two perspectives: the best friend of the main character; Filby; and the Time Traveler himself.  Using the Time Traveler as his mouthpiece, Wells began to postulate how mankind would evolve or devolve over the centuries.  His approach was to separate man into two classes: the privileged class and the working class.  Obviously back in Wells’ time, those were really the only two classes that existed.  Wells goes even further in the book to discuss how the Eloi (above ground dwellers) came to be; in comparison to the Morlocks (below ground dwellers).  The Eloi were previously the upper classes, who never had to work in order to survive.  The Morlocks were the workings classes, who toiled and labored all day, every day.  The separation between the two is stark in the book and in the 1960 movie version.

I just watched the 2002 version with Guy Pierce and while I thought the adventure was interesting, I immediately felt disappointed that it missed the important differences that were exaggerated in the book.  The Eloi have rather superior jungle dwellings.  They work for their food and built what looked like wind mills.  That was the whole point in the book!  The Eloi had forgotten the concept of work.  They did not know what it was like to toil and break a sweat.   That was why the Time Traveler asks where everything comes from: their food and their clothes.  The Morlocks harvested the food and clothed the beings that were to be their own source of nutrition.

Another aspect of the movie that was wrong was Jeremy Irons’ character.  Obviously, there is no fault with Jeremy Irons himself, but the idea that there was a Morlock who wore clothes and could speak intelligently is totally against the book.  That was another point that Wells was making was that the Morlocks had become like animals.  You had the Eloi: unintelligent beings, just existing day to day.  And then you had the Morlocks: creatures of machines and metal, falling from their humanity.  It takes a special kind of monster to tend to then eat another human.

A question I wish had more of an answer to was how did humanity get to that point?  In the movie, the Time Traveler finds out it was because the moon broke and humanity went underground for protection.  Eventually, some people went back to the surface and others remained below.  That was how the Morlocks and the Eloi came to be; and then they eventually forgot about their shared ancestry.  How did Wells imagine the division to have occurred?  He existed before the atom bomb and anything like that which could have caused a cataclysmic event.  The worst thing that could have happened in his time would have been a plague, or the First World War to take place starting in 1914.  I myself can almost see the division being a social experiment gone horribly wrong.  Wouldn’t that be nice to have answered?  That was what made the Time Traveler’s story so far fetched to his friends when he told it.  The idea that mankind could over time become so disjointed and separated was hard for them to believe.  In a way, it is happening today.  You’ve got snowflakes and liberals, who believe in rainbows and butterflies (sounds like the Eloi) and who really don’t know how to work.  And then you have conservatives, who work very hard and frequently drive themselves into an early grave (sort of like the Morlocks, but without the cannibalism).

Was Wells inadvertently predicting a future that was closer than the year 802,701?

And on that note, it’s been real!

One Truly Is the Loneliest Number

Everyone has done this before; they walk into a restaurant by themselves and sit alone.  There’s nothing wrong with that, but as a hostess, my problem is when you ask for a table all to yourself.  Awkward!  I’m of the opinion that when you walk in by yourself, you go get a seat at the bar.  If there are no seats at the bar, maybe stand for a bit until somebody gets up.  Somebody always does, then the loner can take his seat.

Now, that in mind, don’t walk into a restaurant and ask for a table.  Standing for a bit won’t kill you.  On Wednesday night, I had a lone man walk in and there were plenty of seats at the bar, but he wanted a table.  I tried to put him at a little two top in the corner where I like to put those odd parties of one who insist on having a table.  However, he decided to be difficult and wanted another table that could seat four.  Needless to say, I was irked.  What a waste of a table on a busy night!

I’ve gone to plenty of places and sat by myself.  The breakfast bar at Eaten’ Park, a regular bar at a restaurant after work; I never request to take a table away from couples or larger groups.  But then, if you’ve never worked in the restaurant business, you don’t think of these things.  However, that is why I’m writing this blog, to enlighten the unenlightened and tell them how to behave outside their natural habitats.

Take heed!  Take heed!  This is a public service announcement!  Whenever you go to a restaurant by yourself, do not steal a table from larger groups.  Go to the bar.  The food will still taste the same there.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Ocean’s 8 – An Ocean of What the F*ck?!

Alright, this is my first time doing a bad movie review, but I’ve got to do this.  I mean, it’s a ripoff of the original Ocean series!  Now, we’ve all noticed the trend that has been appearing lately: find a good, successful movie already made by men, and remake it with women.  Okay, I don’t know about Hollywood, but I believe in originality.  If you’re taking a perfect recipe and changing the ingredients, but still calling it by the same name, you’re doing it wrong!

I’ve watched all three of the original Ocean’s movies, and I enjoyed them.  The elaborate plans, the quirky characters, the narration of their heists were entertaining, and they did a good job with just Julia Roberts as the female backup.  Now, before anyone starts saying anything, I want to remind you that I am a young, Hispanic woman; so don’t even think of pulling some Leftist bullsh*t on me.  When Holllywood decided to take those good recipes and change the ingredients (i.e. the gender of the characters) they set it up for ruin from the start (Ghostbusters, 2016; do you have to ask?).  Of course, they tied Sandra Bullock’s character to George Clooney’s character in the original trilogy, but that still wasn’t originality on the part of the writers of this latest silver screen fiasco.

The movie received very mixed bordering on not so good reviews.  It currently has 67% on Rotten Tomatoes, and people have said that Bullock and her gang are no substitute for Clooney and his boys.  Now, that’s not to say movies about women are always going to fail.  Wonder Woman was very successful and presented the DC character very well, but for me personally, the story was a bit of a drag, and I was more interested in Captain Steve Trevor (but, I’m a normal girl, so that’s to be expected).  Lara Croft did pretty well, and there was no gender flipping going on in that movie.  The Hunger Games Trilogy with Jennifer Lawrence was well received, so there is proof out there that movies with women as the lead characters can do well.  Just don’t base them off a movie that previously had an all or mostly male cast.  That’s just Hollywood banking off the success of the first installment and hoping it carries the new one.

I glanced at the other reviews from critics and the common man prior to writing this post.  Most of them said the movie was ‘fun’ but that was about it.  The chemistry of the cast was really the only thing most people could agree on.  There were several videos on Youtube, discussing why this movie was so bad.  As well as informing us what the cast thought of the reviews.  Yes, we understand that most actors try to be proud of what they’ve made as a sort of validation for doing what they do for a living.  However, actresses Mindy Kaling and Cate Blanchett (why, Cate, why?) have been blaming white male critiques for the bad reviews and ‘misunderstandings’ concerning their movie.  Just accept responsibility for your f*ck up already.

Here is a video that discusses it in greater detail.  It’s a little over 14 minutes long, just to let you know.  Ocean’s 8 Actors Blame White Male Critiques

It almost sounds like when you were a kid and you did something wrong and then blamed the dog for it.  In this case, the white male critiques are the dogs.  “No, sweetie, the dog didn’t eat your homework, you just didn’t do it.”

And on that note, it’s been real!

Customer Service – Catering to Stupid People

We all know that stupid people exist everywhere.  Unfortunately, when God created humanity, he had a sense of humor, and created stupid people.  The definition in the dictionary is as follows: the quality or state of being stupid.  Last week at the restaurant, I was (once again) able to see how stupid and quite frankly, arrogant people are.

I worked at the dentist office from 8:30-5, so it was already a long day.  From there, I spruced up a little and went to the restaurant.  When I arrived, it was surprisingly busy.  In the summer, our evenings are always hit or miss.  I clocked in and began to check on everyone to make sure they were alright.  That was when I found out that a woman at one of the tables had been making a fuss because of how her burger was made.  One of our burgers comes with the person’s choice of Canadian or regular bacon.  The lady told the server ‘no Canadian bacon’.  De facto, it was now regular bacon.  She needed to specify no bacon period, but she did not.  Hence, it came out of the kitchen with regular bacon and she threw a fit.  The waitress offered to have it sent back and remade several times, but she always refused.  Finally, she was leaving with her party and she asked me if there was a place she could place a survey of her experience that evening.  I told her that there was a little survey on the receipt.  She said she filled it out and wondered if there was another place she could post a review.  I said that there might be something on the website.

She then turned around and said that she and her husband were regulars there and the server was usually only okay, but tonight, she was bad.  She also said she was even more upset because I didn’t apologize for what happened before I even arrived on the scene.  I just bobbled my head and gave her a half smile, not even bothering to grace her with an answer.  After she finally left, I went to clear the table and the server asked me what she had been talking about.  I told her everything, including the part where she wanted me to apologize and I didn’t.  Everyone else found out in no time and they asked me what I had to apologize for.  “Not a damn thing,” I said.

Listen, I’ve been a customer to and I know I will keep being a customer long after I’m done working in the restaurant business.  But even then, I know I’m not going to get in somebody’s face and make their life difficult simply because I’m the customer.  That’s not how the world works.  Look at it this way: the server has the power to help make your experience great, or to f*ck it to kingdom come.  Don’t piss off the person or people responsible for that.  Because you just might avoid something nasty in your dinner.

And on that note, it’s been real!

 

DA – Don’t Ask!

Guess who is back after a sabbatical that lasted a couple of months?  That would be me!  Hello world!

World – Who are you?

Me – I’m a person who just accomplished something.

World – Congratulations.  Hey, knock, knock.

Me – Who’s there?

World – Life.

Me – I walked into that one.

Yep, I completed my externship and passed my radiology exam.  I am a full fledged dental assistant and working for my extern site.  I work out of three dental offices with three different doctors.  I really like two of them, but the third still needs to grow on me.  I’m getting paid what I want to get paid, and working forty hours a week (maybe a little more [over time!]).  I still work at the restaurant, so that’s extra money for me.

I asked one of my fellow dental assistants at the one office today if she could consider being my roommate and moving out with me next year.  She said she would.  So, things are rolling in the right direction (I hope) for me right now.  Wish me luck!  Life always manages to find a way to kick people in the balls.

And on that note, it’s been real!

Tekko, 2018

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, and I am dreadfully sorry.  At least this time I have a doozy for you.  Tekko, 2018 in Pittsburgh!  My doctor was on vacation so it was perfectly timed, but the weather could have been nicer.  I’m fairly certain I’m not the only one who is sick of the cold.

Anyway, drove to my friend’s house and we carpooled to the convention center.  I got checked in (they had already been there the night before) and we went walking.  There was actually a signing first thing in the morning from Vic Mignogna (voice of Edward Elric [FMAB], Zero Kiryu [Vampire Knight], and Tamaki Suoh [Ouran High School Host Club]).  We sat down at a table to wait and had scintillating conversations about feminism and political correctness in Hollywood (topic for another post), before the signing started.

Now, I’ll set the scene a bit for this one: there’s this girl, whose been going to these conventions for ‘years’ according to her.  She dresses as the same character every year and says hi to everyone.  Well, she doesn’t say hi to me and if she did, I would tell her as nicely as possible to f*ck off.  My reason for disliking her?  She’s inconsiderate and uses a ‘brain abnormality’ as an excuse.  So, the self-proclaimed ‘brain abnormality’ was near the front of the line when one of the organizers told us the rules had changed.  Previously, we could have two items signed and could get one picture; now, they were telling us to get one item signed and hold pictures till the end so he could get through the line faster.  Anyway, she broke that rule immediately, and Vic was (probably) too nice to tell her to wait till the end for her picture and to not bring more than one item to get signed.  Oh!  Me and my girlfriend were fuming!

After that signing, we went down to the exhibition hall and walked around.  I saw the sword booth and found myself a fancy rapier sword.  Slick silver hilt and I felt like a swashbuckler holding it.  Thankfully, they said they could hold it for me at the booth so I didn’t have to either cart it around or immediately take it to my car.  I went with my friends after that and we got in line for another signing.  My guy friend stepped out of line to go get something and was gone for a couple of minutes.  When he came back, he ducked under the bar and straightened up very quickly.  I watched as he stripped his jacket off and tied it around his waist.  “Don’t look now, but I just split my pants,” he said.  Myself and his sister just stared at him for a second before we broke down laughing.  “We need to find a onesie when we’re done here,” he said and that only made us laugh harder.

Once the signing was done, we did go looking for his onesie.  He got a black cat onesie from ‘Monster Hunter’ (if anybody is familiar with that).  Later when we were walking around, we caught sight of Vic Mignogna in the exhibition hall with his handler.  My girlfriend told me to go grab him since I wanted a picture.  I walked over and greeted his handler first (since we’re friends on Facebook and have hung out before), then I asked Vic how he was doing.  At that particular moment, he was ecstatic because he had found chocolate covered bacon.  No joke!  I politely asked him if I could get a picture.  He said, “Of course you can, sweetie!”  The handler took the picture, but Vic stayed hugging me for a few seconds afterward.  “She gives good hugs.”

“Yes, she does,” the handler said.  I thanked him for being so nice and went back in search of my group.

And that was Day One!  I’ll post Day Two another time, otherwise you’ll be here a while.

And on that note, it’s been real!

I’m Surrounded by Idiots – A Villain’s Philosophy

Everyone has seen the movie The Lion King, and everyone knows the villain, a devious lion called Scar.  He is one of Disney’s most prominent villains (and that is partly because he is voiced by the marvelous [and British] Jeremy Irons) because he is evil with a hint of charm.  Come on!  If anybody ever said that Scar isn’t charming in a scary sort of way, I would have sharp words with them.

We all remember the scene where he sings the gratuitous villain song, “Be Prepared”.  Before he starts singing, Scar is explaining his plan to the hyenas and they just aren’t getting it.  He puts his paw to his temple and mutters, “I’m surrounded by idiots.”  How many times have we done that since we matured?  A lot, we all know that at least.  There are moments in life where we are surprised by the sheer stupidity of a situation or a person.

Since I have grown up (and become more dry witted with age, kind of like a good wine), I have become less tolerant of stupidity in all its forms.  Of course, that is partly due to example set by my father.  He punished stupidity decisively and without mercy (dramatic emphasis).  Anyway, every time I see or hear something that challenges intelligence as we know it, I always say, “I’m surrounded by idiots.”  Certain things at work make me blink once, twice, and my one eye usually twitches sporadically.  Example being over Easter weekend, I had a family of four walk in and I didn’t have a table for them and I told them they would have to wait a bit.  Instead, like every other ‘smart’ person out there, they asked to sit four people at a table that could seat twelve.  I told them no, “It’s meant for larger parties.”

“Can’t you pull that other table away so we can sit there?”  Said ‘other’ table, could seat four people, but there was no space to put it in to, or extra chairs to put around it to seat four.  Needless to say, I did my two blinks and eye twitch.  I couldn’t (and I never will) understand why people don’t seem to get that I am a hostess, not a magician.

“Damn it, Jim!  I’m a doctor, not a magician!” – Leonard ‘Bones’ McCoy, Star Trek

And on that note, it’s been real!